Change of Heart?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Change of Heart?
3
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 11:53am
I haven't posted on here in a while, but... I started an affair about 7 months ago with a single guy (friend of my husband). Well, my husband and I are now legally separated and the OM and I are living together. Exactly what I wanted, right? Except now that it has actually happened, I miss my husband like crazy, and all I can think of is how much I want him back! Understandably, he wants nothing to do with me since I cheated on him. Should I try to win him back somehow? How exactly does one go about something like that?

I tried telling him I still loved him and wanted to go to counseling, but he pointed out that when he wanted me to go to counseling 6 months ago, I refused and said it would be pointless because I didn't want to be married anymore. Or should I try to forget about him, and just be happy with my OM? I feel like I REALLY screwed things up here, and I just wish I could take everything back! God, I NEVER thought I'd be saying that, back when the affair first started I was so in love and would have been THRILLED to be in the situation I'm now in. HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:13pm
I'm glad you've decided to come back and post here with us.

cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:05pm
I know you are right, but I can not just get rid of my OM because I've got a large mortgage payment on a small house, and I have two dogs, so finding any other roommate is pretty much impossible! Especially since one of the dogs is sick, and I need help caring for her when I'm at school (I work full time and go to school almost full time). I know this sounds like a lame excuse. I told my H he should just move back in and we could sleep in separate rooms and go to counseling, but no deal.

I know everyone says "no regrets", but more than anything I wish I could just turn back time and do things differently. It would be so much better if I still had my H and the OM and I were just friends again. But I guess it can never go back to the way things were...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:59pm
Kurbygurl,

I hope this isn't a duplicate post-my computer is acting funny. I am considering making a similar decision you made and now regret, so your post scares me!! I would like to hear more of your story. How long did you know your OM before you left and what was your marriage like before you met him, then afterwards? I have known my OM for 3 years.