Is cheating an addiction?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Is cheating an addiction?
4
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 11:42am
I'm just curious what everyone's opinions are on whether cheating is an addiction and if and how it can be stopped.

I have a H and am also (somewhat still) involved with an OM, but I am constantly looking at men and love getting attention from them. Maybe I'm just insecure and crave attention to make me feel better, I don't know, but if I decide to completely end it with OM, I'm worried that I will never be able to be faithful.

Is 'once a cheater, always a cheater' true?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 11:51am
I was wondering about wether or not it's an

addiction. I was (kind of still am) having

an A with OM, and then that somewhat ended

3 weeks or so ago. I immediately went on a

search for a new A. And I found prospects..

BUT I changed my mind. If I can't have OM,

then I want no one... So, not sure if it's

an addiction to cheating for me, but who

knows, it could be because I'm still in love

with OM... Gawd, I'm no help at all am I?!

Perhaps for some people, it is an addiction.

I can believe it is. I can't wait to hear

others responses on this. ~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 1:06pm
I think most definately cheating is an addiction. The definition of addiction is "a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful" now although this definition uses the word substance which is often associated with drugs and alcohol the definition can clearly be transferred to our relationships.

I know that I clearly am complusive about my need for him, that I experience physiological withdrawls without him and that he is very habit forming and of course we know these relationships are often harmful to our being.

I am in my second EMA and it has nothing to do with the level of my happiness in my marriage or in my life. They are not in any way related. I have loved the OM in both of my EMAs and I think I would be fooling myself if I were to stake a claim that I'll never do this again. It truly is just something I indulge in for myself.

I truly am addicted to my EMA just as some are addicted to cigarettes, beer, coke, chocolate, sex and all of the other crutches we have...

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 2:21pm
Haven't read the other responses yet, but here's my take on it...

I'm inherently adverse to the word addiction. I think when you start extending the word addiction to BEHAVIORS, then you're sliding down a slippery slope that leads people to excuse and rationalize away their destructive and hurtful behaviors under the umbrella of "I can't help it, I'm addicted". Compulsive sex, compulsive shopping, compulsive eating, whatever else people claim are 'addictions' are simply actions of people with poor self-discipline and likely poor self esteem/self worth issues.

I'm probably going to be flamed, but I thought I'd answer anyway.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2003
Thu, 08-21-2003 - 2:48pm
I really think this is an addiction. I love the attention and the flirting too. I love my H but I like sex. I have wondered if I am a sex addict. As mentioned in the post before I know it can be a crutch but for some reason I can't stop. I want it and I like it, though I don't want to ruin what I do have.