To Chris... I am Pregnant
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| Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:21pm |
First, I am pregnant... and even though my A is officially over, considering the change in the circumstances in my life, we were also prepared for the fact that it may happen before we were able to get to where we are.
You have to be honest with both. You have to be honest with them, because there are alot of factors that will be involved in your childs life. There are alot of questions asked about the fathers medical history and that is information you will need for your child as they get older. I know personally, that because my real father was not a factor in my life it was hard to determine what caused some of my medical problems as a child and that continued as an adult.
Your H WILL be upset.. just be prepared for that. Afterall, it seems that you guys at somepoint were trying to create a wonderful family together. Not knowing what caused you to have an A, and at this point it really not mattering, I think that you have to be honest with him and tell him that you have had an affair and now you are carrying a child from that. I know in my situation it wasn't me that was going to have to tell, but it was something that my MM was ready to deal with if it happened.
You have a whole other life to keep in mind at this point. I would in NO way encourage you to not tell one or the other, to tell a lie now will surely destroy your life even more later. You have to be HONEST!
I'm sure all of the girls here will agree that our prayers and thoughts will be with you. Keep us posted and remember that you can come here and write anytime.
Hang in there,
Pooh

First, thank you for your email. I agree with your advice and everyone else's advice about being honest with the OM and my H. I told OM and he said he would do whatever I wanted and that if I wanted to move in with him and raise the baby together, he would do that. He said he loves me and wont make me go through this alone and he wants me to leave my H. I still havent told my H. I am waiting for my first doctor's appointment on Friday, March 12. I go back and forth every day on how to tell H the truth and I swear, I don't know if I can do it. I know I have to, but I can't imagine how hurt he will be. You see, he can't have children and we were using donor sperm to try and get pregnant and we had 4 unsuccesful attempts and if he knows I went off and had an affair and got pregnant by someone else, he would be crushed. I wake up every morning thinking that today is the day I will tell him and then I feel physically sick and can't do it. I am a really strong person usually, but this is by far the worst thing ever. All I can do is pray for the strength to do it. Thanks for your support and everyone elses on here.