coincidence or not

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
coincidence or not
6
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 11:26am
I had seen another post about signs, but has anyone had things like this happen. My MM and I have been with each other for over four and a half years. We both work at the same job, in the same section, and even started on the same day. He is five years older than me. My father used to have a second job as a security guard, and my MM used to work in the same building in the same years my dad was there. MM collects old toys and does toy shows. He's done them in the malls around my house. When we went for this medical questionare for our current job, he says that he remembers seeing me and even sat in back of me because he thought I was cute and he wanted to look. I don't remember this, but he did say a few things that I did that day. (Who I sat next to, people I was talking to). I remember seeing him at the orientation although he doesn't remember seeing me. I remember seeing him and thinking that he was really hot, and even almost sat next to him, but I was too shy. I keep wondering what would have happened if I did sit next to him that day. The day we actually started working the personel person picked out three people from the group. Me, my MM and someone else. Since then, we've been inseprable. First as friends then as lovers. Now, my question is, if I had really met him at one of these earlier times, does anyone think the attraction between us would still be the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 12:21pm
I guess it wasn't really a sign, but when I started working at my second job, which is where I met my OM, I knew the first day that we met that something was going to happen between us. It has only been a little over a month that we started doing our thing, but I just knew that we would end up hooking up in some form or another. It didn't start until about month after I worked there, but it was the first time we hung out, outside of work. I don't think it was conscious thought, but definately part of my subconscious, an intuition I had about us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 2:05pm
I worked with MM a full year and a half before all this started. If you'd told me six months ago I'd even be thinking about him the way I think about him now, I would have told you you were crazy. Wasn't even the slightest bit attracted to him. He always thought I was cute, but just in the way all the other men around thought I was cute. You know how men are...always looking for some eye candy. So if you'd met earlier, it's possible the attraction would have been instantaneous, but maybe you weren't ready yet. Maybe the timing wasn't right. Who knows? It's possible things would have bloomed in their own time, just in a different way. I've often wondered what would have happened if I hadn't walked into MM's office that day when all of a sudden he saw me as if for the first time. Just two days earlier we'd been having a discussion about a woman who wears thong underwear and he said, "That seems like it would be uncomfortable" and I just smiled and he got all undone over the fact that he now knew what underwear I wore...but still, it was different. It was a fun, lighthearted, flirtatious conversation but it was still just two friends talking. That day I walked into his office, something just CLICKED. I think it was timing...I looked no different two days earlier than I did on that day. But what I've wondered about, was, if I hadn't walked into his cubicle, would the same thing have happened maybe a week or two or month or two later? Probably so. We were like two trains on the same track, headed for a collision. It was only a matter of time. Same with you and your OM, although I think that day the attraction would have been there, but nothing would have been done about it until you ended up working together. One day, one encounter isn't really enough. These things take time to build, IMHO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 2:06pm
Well, I guess I have a few things that I could add to this.

MM (not married then) saw me with family at a nearby restaurant the very first day of registration for college. Then at a welcoming activity a few days later, I saw him and thought he was really cute, the only place left to sit was ironically next to him. We hit it off immediately, but didnt see each other for a few days. Then the first day of class I found out we had a class together. Due to a scheduling conflict he transferred to a different class and I didn't see him for about a week or so. One evening after my nap, I was going up the hall in the dorm and about bumped right into him on my way to the bathroom. We finally exchanged numbers and a couple nights after that I went to his dorm room and saw that we had a couple of the same pair of shoes (gym shoes, flip flops). The next year, my new roommate, a friend of hers and myself were all standing outside talking when these 3 guys walk up to us (MM was one of them). It turns out that the other 2 guys were the b/f's of my roommate and her friend. Now just recently I found out that a good friend of MM (who lives in the same state as I do, MM lives out of state) had gotten a divorce and had bought a new house in the same city where I live. So now MM has a legitimate reason to come my way and visit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 2:18pm
Sometimes it feels as if this was supposed to happen. When we started up together, he had been married for almost two years and had a son that just turned a year old. We had already been friends for four months. MM told me that he cared for his W, but only married her because of the baby. If she didn't get pregnant, they probably would have split up. I had just gotten engaged at the time, and my fiance started to change ever plan we had made. I felt as if he said yes to everything we had talked about, then proposed, and then tried to put his foot down. With everyhting that happened, it ended up pushing me towards my MM. I know that he says he loves me, I believe it too. I know that I love him, more than life itself. I ended up marrying my fiance, and it was the worst mistake I made. I want to leave, but I think he;ll give me a hard time because of our daughter. The biggest thing is that I know his wife would take him for everything if he asked for a divorce. We know another couple in our job who was in the same boat, and they both left their spouses. The woman divorced her husband, but the man only seperated. Now this is like almost five years later, and she told him to make a choice. I see how bitter she's become. I don't want that to happen to us. I've even told him, that if this is all we could have together, then I would have to be content with it. I love him too much to make ultimatums. I do believe that he is my soul mate, and that I met him to late. I will always love him. I want to be with him, but only if it's what he wants.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 2:27pm
I wish that that is what happened in my case. MM and his W already had a child. In January his W got pregnant with baby #2. He was surprised considering he told me that they were only together once that month. We both work nights, and apparently she had come home on her break, woke him up, did the deed, and went back to work. The funny thing is that we ended up talking about it a couple weeks before he found out. I know that I'm only hoping and dreaming, but I hope that one day we'll end up together. I can't imagine not having him in my life. I'm not miserable when I'm with him, but does anyone feel that if he would just break up, sometimes it might be better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 4:28pm
Its so hard to say goodbye to somebody when there is so much history and family involvement. I want the chance to see if there is a possibility of more with my OM, but I can't seem to break it off with my b/f. It is like we are married. Our families are close, we've been together for 3 years etc. I don't want to keep my b/f but at the same time I am not ready to give him up just quite yet. I know that is completely messed up and selfish on my part, but that is the way I feel.