Conflicting emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Conflicting emotions
8
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 9:00pm

I'm posting this here rather than the "Ending an Affair" message board because I haven't actually ended it...and I'm not sure that I want to.

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 11:31pm
Sounds to me like you are in a good place to walk away from this A. You are gonna get hurt. Lots of people are gonna get hurt. Is he planning to leave his marriage? How will you feel when you are both outed, and publicly, everyone will know, how will you feel? I know it hurts like crazy, the very idea of not having your MM, but at the same time, you are started with NC, and you might wanna consider continuing that, and filling in your stolen time with real time with real friends. I'm sorry, you are in a crappy position. If you stay in this, and go on that vacation, all it's gonna prove is that vacation sex is hot, not that you can stand to be together all the time. It will still be stolen time.... (((HUGS))) It all sucks....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 11:46pm

Bottom line: GET OUT!

Trust me, the miserable pain and suffering that I have gone through in my affair was beyond any words to describe it. If you are single, it is going to be much, much more painful for you than if you were married. Think of all the lonely nights at home. Think of the times he's going to miss holidays and special occasions with you. Think of the times he'll be with his wife... i mean these things drove me insane and then some! It won't bother you in the beginning but give it time it will eat away at your soul.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 1:39am
I have been on many overnights, weekends, and long trips with my AP in the last 7 years. I learned a lot by doing so. Some good, some bad. Bottom line is,I can overlook some litle things he does and the rest amuse me or I think they're cute.I haven't discovered any deal breakers. I love to plan the trips and cook together or go out for meals, problem solve, decide where to go and what to do, and take pictures and go hiking together.There's nothing like driving 200-400 miles a day, getting lost,or spending time rained out of your plans or sweating your butts off together to bring you closer.LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 9:28am
I would really suggest you to take a deep breath and read the posts on this board.Your AP is an older MM and you are S.Do any of you have kids?How will you take it when after spending a vacation with you,he goes on a similar vacation with his W.Cake-eater,right.On top of it,he might 'say' that his M is very bad and all the BS but then why doesnt he get out of it?
Its your decision but i too would say get out when its new.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2009
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 10:55am
I may have read this wrong, but you are having an A with the spouse of a co-worker? Yikes! All I can say is God help you if you guys are outed!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 9:07pm

Yeah, he's married to a co-worker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 11:43pm
OLDLOVE~~~~ I like the way you roll---enjoy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 12:17am

You are playing with 'fire'...and in this economy, jobs are hard to come by.