CONFUSED!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
CONFUSED!!!
3
Thu, 01-09-2014 - 6:30pm

I haven't been on this board for a few years, but wanted to come back to get your feedback/opinon(s) on what, if anything, I should do.  A lil' background - me and m former co-worker have developed an EA that is headed towards a physical connection.  We have both been married for over 20 yrs to our spouses.  Our friendship started when I joined his company 8 yrs ago and it was me who told him that I wanted a "FWB" relationship with him about 5 yrs ago.    Nothing ever came of it then.  After leaving the company, we continued to stay in touch b/c he got me through some rough patches with my hubby.  About 2 yrs ago we started chatting online about life and "other" things.  Those emails then became sexual and we "crossed the line" of friendship by describing what we'd do to each other, etc.  Fast fwd to now .... we've been chatting again and have spoken on the phone a few times and text msging....to the point where we've discussed getting a room for the afternoon to finally make this "fantasy" a reality.  As I've told him a few times - this is a very "slippery slope" we are on b/c one or both of us are going to end up getting hurt.  After all, I KNOW it is a "dead end" road we're going down.  So, I guess my question is this: We will text throughout the day on some days, then there is no communication at all for days.  I see when he is on FB, I'll chime in and ask in a PM how his day is, etc. yet no reply. We have talked about if one of us wants to dis-continue going down this road, we can do so at any time, yet he hasn't said anything like that.  So, what gives?  Any thoughts?

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: maybabee8
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:21pm

I don't know what gives with him...maybe you should ask him straight out.

I have a hunch he still didn't want to go there even though he got kinda caught up in the over-the-line texts.  And after your warning he has reconsidered the consequences of walking that slippery slope where one or both of you will get hurt.  So now, he has pulled away.

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2014
In reply to: maybabee8
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:41am

But you two have never actually followed through with it? After all those years of obsessing over this guy and fantaszing, he probably has a really small wee wee and is horrible in bed. Ok, maybe not, but you get my point. Until you;ve actually done it with this guy, you have no clue.

"He got you through some rough patches with your hubby" That's betrayal. You get through rough patches with your hubby, well, with your hubby.

another prime example why men and women can't be friends.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: xxxs
Mon, 01-20-2014 - 9:40pm

 Hogwash.  Men and women can be friends.  Having a person to talk to is important as we all need a sounding board from time to time.  

dragowoman