Confused about new EMA

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Confused about new EMA
15
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:19pm
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Edited 12/20/2003 1:42:02 PM ET by charlotte1203

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 7:10pm
Hi notsosingle and prettyribbons,

Either (or both) give me an email if you'd like. I'm at charlotte12032003@yahoo.com. I know I shouldn't post it up here like this, but whatever..it's only a hotmail account. I'm feeling for both of you, beacuse in many ways I do see many similarities in our situations. Notsosingle, I'm very curious to hear your story! And any changes? And prettyribbons, you are not alone in the way you feel. I feel better reading what you wrote...I was beginning to think I was the only one who feels this way too. (Like I'm some psychopath who is incapable of feeling guilt). I do, and I don't feel guilt. And like you, I love my husband, and don't want to leave him. But I do not want to loose my MM either. It is confusing. I just keep telling myself 'why is is so hard to believe that you can love two people at the same time?' (I'm really still not sure what I feel for MM...but I do know the possibilty is there). That's where I am at this point. Hope to hear from either of you!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 2:57pm
Hi, I am also new to this group and the EMA situation. Your situation sounds very similiar to mine. I am 27 y/o and will be coming up on our 10th anniversary w/2 kids(yes i got married quite young) which is some of the problem. My marriage isnt so bad but its just not what i want, there is no emotional connection between my H and I. I have recently met another MM here online and he is also in a loveless marriage. He isnt out for a complete sexual thing he wants the emotions that go with a relationship and that is also what i had been looking for. My problem is trying to figure out how this whole EMA thing works lol. We don't get much time together, only time we can see each other is during the day on my lunch break or change my schedule a little. We talk for hours on the phone at times. We connect so well, but the thing is im getting overwhelmed by the whole thing. I cant get him out of my mind, I think about him 24/7 and want so bad to be with him. I know things are moving fast emotionally but I havent felt this way in such a long time, its nice to feel wanted and appreciated something im not use too. Im just amazed how the affair thing works, you feel so wonderful and so many emotions you havent experienced but yet its so confusing and its enough to drive me mad...well it does feel good to vent a little and to say whats on my mind.....im just glad i found this group, at least im not the only one in this boat.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 6:35pm
marriedpagirl

It's definitely a roller coaster ride kind of thing. I'm still new into mine, and I think about him every free minute I have - I'm hoping that will subside soon (it can be exhausting). It is confusing, but God, it does feel good doesn't it?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 1:21pm
I can relate to so much of what you've said. I'm fairly new in my EMA, too. I've been married for close to 2 years now (I know, not a very long time), and I started my EMA a little over 2 weeks ago. Looks like we'll be meeting on a fairly regular basis, once a week or so.

I also approached him about starting the EMA - it was a tough decision, but now I don't feel guilty at all. The first night after we started our EMA I couldn't sleep and I thought about it the next day. I was conflicted with thoughts like "what did I just do?" and "how could I have done that," and also with thoughts like "I can't wait to see OM again" . . .

I love H but am no longer in love with him, but the last thing I want is to hurt him.

I am so glad to have found this board to read others' thoughts & have them sympathize with my situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 5:30pm
I think I understand your situation, as I have been communicating with my ex for four months but he hasn't called me in two weeks and it hurts a lot. I can't come up with the courage to call him, because I am afraid he is going to push me away since I am married and it makes him feel guilty. So I think he isn't calling because he suddenly is realizing this is inappropiate. Which makes me feel even worse because shouldn't I be the one feeling guilty and trying to end this?

This can only end with someone gettting hurt, its inevitable. And if I continue communicating with him my H will eventually find out and it will devastate him. Not to mention I have a baby too. I am hurting alot right now, almost like someone has broken my heart, but this pain is necessary in order for me to forget my ex. I can't give you advice, but if you want to make your marriage work then you will have to end communication soon so you can start the grieving process. Ending the EMA will feel like you are breaking up with someone you love and its probably better that you feel this pain, then have your H find out because he will experience it much worse. Good luck.

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