Confused about new EMA
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Confused about new EMA
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:19pm |
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Edited 12/20/2003 1:42:02 PM ET by charlotte1203
Edited 12/20/2003 1:42:02 PM ET by charlotte1203
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:19pm |
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Either (or both) give me an email if you'd like. I'm at charlotte12032003@yahoo.com. I know I shouldn't post it up here like this, but whatever..it's only a hotmail account. I'm feeling for both of you, beacuse in many ways I do see many similarities in our situations. Notsosingle, I'm very curious to hear your story! And any changes? And prettyribbons, you are not alone in the way you feel. I feel better reading what you wrote...I was beginning to think I was the only one who feels this way too. (Like I'm some psychopath who is incapable of feeling guilt). I do, and I don't feel guilt. And like you, I love my husband, and don't want to leave him. But I do not want to loose my MM either. It is confusing. I just keep telling myself 'why is is so hard to believe that you can love two people at the same time?' (I'm really still not sure what I feel for MM...but I do know the possibilty is there). That's where I am at this point. Hope to hear from either of you!!
It's definitely a roller coaster ride kind of thing. I'm still new into mine, and I think about him every free minute I have - I'm hoping that will subside soon (it can be exhausting). It is confusing, but God, it does feel good doesn't it?
I also approached him about starting the EMA - it was a tough decision, but now I don't feel guilty at all. The first night after we started our EMA I couldn't sleep and I thought about it the next day. I was conflicted with thoughts like "what did I just do?" and "how could I have done that," and also with thoughts like "I can't wait to see OM again" . . .
I love H but am no longer in love with him, but the last thing I want is to hurt him.
I am so glad to have found this board to read others' thoughts & have them sympathize with my situation!
This can only end with someone gettting hurt, its inevitable. And if I continue communicating with him my H will eventually find out and it will devastate him. Not to mention I have a baby too. I am hurting alot right now, almost like someone has broken my heart, but this pain is necessary in order for me to forget my ex. I can't give you advice, but if you want to make your marriage work then you will have to end communication soon so you can start the grieving process. Ending the EMA will feel like you are breaking up with someone you love and its probably better that you feel this pain, then have your H find out because he will experience it much worse. Good luck.
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