Confused about signals?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Confused about signals?
13
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 12:15am

So, there's a guy at my office I have liked for years, he's 40 and I'm 30. He works in a different office location than me. We are both married. I hadn't seen him for a while and at our office party, I know he was looking at me a lot. One of my guy friends noticed him checking me out a lot during the night. We've known each other for years. During the night, he came up to me and mentioned how i looked in my dress and then kissed my neck and shoulders once. We were both drinking and i think i just smiled and that was it. i was a bit surprised. He kept checking to see how i was getting home but these guys i'm friends with said they would make sure i got home ok.


since then it has been pretty much business as usual, except he never asks about my husband any more and he always used to and he never mentions his wife. now he's talking about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2009
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 2:39pm

Hi there,


Just a few points I would like to add.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 6:59pm

Hi,


Thanks for the last 2 posts. I appreciate having a point of view from the male perspective. Guywholovestoomuch, thanks for your post. I guess I could kind of see where he was coming from there. We haven't talked any more on the phone at all, just business emails back and forth, nothing more. These flirty comments seemed to be 'one offs' and then he doesn't say anything more and I end up feeling like maybe I'm misinterpreting something to be more than what it is (except for the pass he made at me at the party in December).


Oncebittentwiceshy, thank you for your candidness and advice. I'm sorry for what you had to go through. This was also very helpful. I know that I need to do some self examination about why I am so unhappy in my marriage lately. I have never ever contemplated an affair of any sort with anyone, until this guy, who I have always had a crush on. I'm actually thinking about booking a short trip for a couple of days to go to a conference and just get some space and perspective to think some things out about myself and try to get to the root of my feelings.


The more days that go past that I don't speak to this guy, the easier it seems to be getting and the less I focus on him, so I guess that's a good thing. Again, he works on the other side of the country, so it's not like I have to see him everyday or anything like that.


Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Tue, 05-05-2009 - 4:55pm

So, update, it has been a few weeks. I have barely been talking to the guy and where he lives away, still haven't had to see him. He doesn't come to our office until next month. I was actually feeling like I was starting to get him out of my thoughts a bit, and then he emailed me on my birthday and said 'Happy Birthday. Looking Good''. I'm assuming he meant me. The company had posted a pic of me on our internal web site that week. So I just said thanks and that I had a good time out with my friends from work and we did karoke that was really bad and got taped by one of my other friends. He emailed back and said 'jokingly it would probably be on TV' and then at the bottom said 'Can't wait!'. Then, he sent me an FYI with a smiley face with a forwarded email between him and someone else showing that he was on Facebook now.


So, what am I supposed to think now? Is this guy just being overly friendly (you can read through the history) or is he flirting with me again like people thought before. SO, I guess I'm still confused more than ever now over signals since he hasn't said barely a thing to me in weeks. So, I stupidly emailed back and now, I haven't heard back from him again.


Any help here would be appreciated? This isn't even about anything going to happen or not happen between us. It's just about me trying to figure out where he is coming from and why the gaps in communication.


Thanks

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