confused alittle
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confused alittle
| Tue, 12-09-2003 - 7:26pm |
I have a question, that is not meant to start a problem, just want someones perspective. I dont think of myself as a bad woman, a whore or a homewrecker. If anything, when we had an A , I did everything to keep it between us because I knew what kind of drama it would bring both of us, and because I knew what type of person STBX was and didnt want the kids to end up in the middle (even though she put them there anyway). When he told her that it was over and he was leaving, it wasn't about me. She had got caught doing some dirty things and he opened his eyes to what his life was really like. I was just there for him. He and I have always remained best friends, even when he was devoted into trying to make his family work. So, my question is, why are the W or STBX directing all the hostility towards us. Making it seem like it's completely impossible that something wonderful came from a messy marriage or the demise of a relationship. I never hurt anyone intentionally. I never played on a phone, went by anyones house. I dont brag about how great it is to finally have him. Nor that I told her when we were teenagers that "it would always be me". He and I have loved each other all our lives and I am not going to apologize for that. Can't we be happy? Is it that hard for them to just understand that maybe it just wasn't meant to be and that everyone is better off the way they are. I know there is pain, I don't doubt that at all, but just because they thought everything was perfect, doesn't mean he/she did. I am a firm believer that you dont stay in any negative relationship just because of the "kids". What are you teaching them if you do, and I dont believe in using children to hold onto a man either. I believe in happiness for children and letting them see what real love is like and how healthy relationships can be.
Why are we always blamed? I am inlove with my boyfriend. I am lucky to have him and he feels the same as me. He tells me everyday how much he loves me and everything he has done is the right thing. His main concern is making sure the children arent mentally torn apart by her. i dont know if anyone can understand where I am coming from , it just baffles me that people dont see or comprehend the obvious.

Seeburg
Seeburg also made a valid point that if they acknowledged that marital demise played a role then they would have to accept some of the blame themselves which no one wants to lay blame on themselves, it's human nature...
It may also be an ego thing...
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com