confused and guilty...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2009
confused and guilty...
2
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 9:27pm
Hi all - this is my first post. I guess I just need to get this off my chest. I'm getting married in a few months, but recently I started seeing another (married) man. I love my fiance dearly, and I don't know why I do this, but its like nothing else matters. I think of how hurt he would be, and I just can't get it to affect me. Its been 3 weeks since I met the other man. I just dont know what to do. I know I should end it, but I just cant seem to help myself. I don't want to hurt anyone...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Tue, 06-09-2009 - 7:19am

Hi glee and welcome. :) Sounds like you're like the rest of us. You have needs that are not being met. I can relate. For ages I refused to think of myself as a cheater. I have often had others on the side but each time I thought of that as just a life hiccup or something. Just the past few years I've realized I'm just different when it comes to relationships. Call me a selfish b*tch if you want but I want my H and my marriage and my adventures too. I can't imagine life without them.

My first A ended about as badly as an A can end. I got thrown under the bus by AP and by my first H also. I learned from that.

I'm not saying you're like me. I'm just sharing. You should take a good look at yourself. Maybe you're not cut out to be a 1-man girl. If not. . .go for it. Just be careful. The way to not hurt anyone is to not get caught.

Just my .02

-jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Tue, 06-09-2009 - 5:03pm

IMO, you need to figure out if you really want to marry your fiance or not.