Confused and hurting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Confused and hurting
94
Wed, 04-01-2009 - 3:02pm
This is my second post on this website and I decided this time I would give more information.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 9:54am

I would really advice you to think about being with this much older guy in RL.
My sister ( died 3 years ago) married a guy 15 years older than her.Long story short,he was very possesive ,controlling and slowly becoming abusive as well.I am not saying all older guys will be like that when they are with a younger woman.Just my experience.Every time my sis talked to another guy ( work related , salesman in shops ,etc ) , my bil became insecure and wanted my sis to 'prove' that she only had eyes for him.she was scared to talk to any guy who was her age or basically younger than my bil.he limited her contact outside of his 'approved' social circle.she did everything to make sure he never got upset because of him being older.
I could go on and on but all i am trying to say is huge age differences dont work out in most of the cases.You are in A and may not see the real big picture right now.You would be best suited to someone who is closer to your age ,IMO. Your AP's W will be a big problem to tackle, assuming he gets a D.Will it be right to put your 4 year old thru all the ups and downs it will bring?Kids pick up on things,yeah,even as old as 4.

(( hugs )) please consider all the real life issues before pinning away for your AP.
I have just shared my opinion, hope it helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 12:11pm
The age difference doesn't bother me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 1:41pm

Update....


I have broke it off completely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 4:47pm

one way or another, anything else is better than waiting futilely.

good luck with the elephant,
Mrs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 6:25pm

This is going to sound so trite, but yes it will get better, because time will pass. One day you will wake up and the elephant won't sit down for a few hours. It will get easier and easier until he is gone.

For what it's worth, I think you made a very smart decision. I wish I had had the same strength you have demonstrated.

Anytime you need to vent about the elephant or the fact that you miss him, this board is a good place for that.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 6:48pm
Well, I don't feel so strong and as a matter of fact, I feel sick about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 7:00pm

Five months ago, I didn't feel strong either. People constantly told me I was and I just shrugged it off.

Are you able to turn your phone off for the weekend? Maybe that will help you. Maybe. I will be honest and tell you I am having a similar issue right now with my ex. The texting is getting more and more difficult to ignore. But I am. Because nothing has changed.

Maybe in your situation, something will change, and he will follow through with the plans he tells you about. When he does, if you are still available you can address it. Until then, I will repeat what I said previously, I think you made a very smart choice.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Fri, 04-03-2009 - 7:07pm
Five months?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 10:50am

Another update...


So after not hearing from him most of the weekend, I get a text on Sunday morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 12:19pm

What's three more weeks to wait in the big scheme of things?

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