Confused between lover & husband
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 06-22-2009 - 11:43am |
I am a married 26-yr-old and I posted on these boards about a month ago when I first met the new guy with whom I am having an affair and was still unrealistically excited about him.
In my last post I talked about my husband's abusive tendencies (he insults me, is very closed-minded, and has hit me) and how the new guy's charm just had me floored and in love. Also, the new guy is very much in love with me and really wants me to divorce my husband so I can start a relationship with him, which he says with time will eventually end up in marriage. (WHEN, is the question. I may end up posting in the "NOt Quite Engaged" board wondering when I'm going to get the ring). He is a wonderful and handsome guy so I told him, to just give me time until I am done with my BA by the end of this year. He said yes, he'll wait, but now I'm not so sure anymore. My husband is not a bad guy, and the thought of leaving him hurts me.
My husband is also so sweet, charming, makes me the centre of his world, which are things that I need and want (call me insecure, selfish, but those are things that really hook me). And after many serious talks with my husband in which I told him that my "unconditional love" does not include tolertating mistreatment (only being there for him in sickness and in health, or helping him out if he lost his job), he said he will change. Of course, he has his moments in which he relapses to his angry behavior. Even in his best moments, though, he does NOT want to go to therapy; he REFUSES to; he is annoyed that I am seeing the schoo counselor. Still, he seems to be trying and when he is sweet and loving like that I feel awful about my affair.
So even though my lover is sweet, caring, treats me out (my husband does not-- his mother is the one who used to treat both of us out during the "courting" period and she bought my engagement and wedding bands)-- well, despite all this, I am thinking of "breaking up" with my lover. I am formulating a breakup letter that goes like this. Reading it will give the context. I haven't sent it yet. He is already hurt enough to know that I go home to another man every night. I don't know. Please let me know what you think. It's not complete yet.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK????? DO I LET MY NEW GUY GO????? OR DO I KEEP HIM AROUND FOR SUPPORT AND FOR A POSSIBL RELATIONSHIP WHEN I DECIDE TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pages
Pages