Confused...not sure
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Confused...not sure
| Wed, 09-09-2009 - 12:48am |
Okay, so a colleague of mine, who I have worked with at some level for almost 5 years, and I had an incident a year and a half ago. We had been working closer together for about a year and a half before the first incident. We had an incredible evening, with steaks and wine and one thing led to another. We are both married and committed the next day that it would never happen again. At the same time, he very much left it open that we would make a great couple and explained several reasons, but for the kids, we couldn't allow it to happen again. So, we had a falling out shortly after that and are now working together again. Yesterday, we had a get together at his house, my family and his. After the kids and spouses went to bed, he and I were left alone and again one thing led to another. So now, we know we are incredibly attracted to each other that was discussed and man, we would be an amazing couple. We just had a conversation that was truly one of the first times he has opened up to me about some personal facts about his childhood and why he made the decision a long time ago, that his kids would not grow up in a split family. Most of this stemmed from making the agreement that we would never tell a soul about what happened and we also agreed it was careless that this had happened at his house. He told me how much he loves being with me, talking with me, sharing thoughts with me and working together. Not a single time did he mention it not happening again, so now this leaves me wondering, are we beginning an affair or was it just another incident. I know he adores his kids, but is not happy with his spouse and I'm pretty much in the same boat. Any feedback?? I am new to the possibility of having an affair.

I dont have much to contribute to your situation- it seems self explainitory. Only thing i can suggest is that you read all the posts that you can stomach here and on EAS to get the inside workings on what you are headed for. Some posts are heartbreaking but most are just of pain and women forced by their emotions to wait for a man that will never leave the M.
Either way you choose to go forward though, i wish you good luck and hope you get what you need.
SB
Yeah...I have a feeling that he would be open to continuing the A as long as he feels that his wife won't find out. I am so confused b/c we are business partners and work so close together. Not only am I attracted to him, but I think about the way he makes me feel emotionally and physically all the time. It's like we are meant to be together, but we can't be in any other way than secretly. I care about him a lot and he told me last night that if he didn't have kids, it might be different. Pretty much sucks that he's in a marriage with no fulfillment and doesn't feel attached to her at all, I knew that before, and feels obligated to stay because of his kids. I'm in the same boat too, b/c my son is the light of my life and I can not imagine not having him there everyday. So, I know where he's coming from on that, but man it is tough b/c we are like magnetic in personality and attraction.
Understand totally what youre feeling. All i am thinking of mainly that unless you are prepared that you either you or both get caught in the D-Day, then it all stays underground and usually one party of the A gets sick of hiding. The attachments get closer and one day, that hour alone will not be enough- you will want more and more until it consumes your soul. Hopefully it will not be like most others here and have a happy ending- it has happened and i have read about it here (to whom of you i have to say i an EXTREMELY JEALOUS LOL) but they seems to be the exception to the rules.