Confusion about deal breakers! Opinions wanted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Confusion about deal breakers! Opinions wanted!
23
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 3:35pm

Do you have any deal breakers in your A?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 3:48pm

My deal breaker is that he doesn't rat himself out to his wife and throw me under the bus!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 3:52pm

For my AP it's honestly (funny, hein ?) and not doing anything behind his back (whatever that means). He almost broke up with me 2 days ago because I admitted to checking his W's pictures.

But for me, the end would be when the relationship doesn't feel good anymore. I mean I always feel some pain, because it's not a real R, but once the bad outweighs the good, i.e. I'll stop having fun with him, it will be finished. There will be nothing else to hold on to anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 5:32pm

I just discovered 2 things that are my deal breakers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 5:50pm
Actually, it's the same for me, however I figured that while I'm waiting (well, waiting is not exactly the right word) to meet someone who could give me a normal R during which I could have another child, I could stay with him and later, if we decide so, continue as friends.

But if you just separated from H, you're probably not ready for serious dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 6:01pm

Sireanita, I am not wanting a real R with anyone, not him not anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 7:39pm
Well apparently mine is inconsideration...but it took me a while to draw the line there...and I'm still trying. Relationships change and become either more or less meaningful, more or less considerate. I've been thinking about this for awhile...and after this past week I realized that we can't have more meaningful..so as others stated I want more! (but not RL either...just open? More time?)..and he became HUGELY less considerate. And I acted pathetically...and now we have a deal breaker. Interesting thread, by the way.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 7:48pm

I don't know what I want from him...yet I know I want more, I just don't know of what.

I think I already told him what my deal breakers were, he thought about them, he can't fulfill them (nor do I really want him to), so now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 9:34pm

In this case, why couldn't you continue the way it is ? If he gives you emotional support, isn't it convenient ? And nothing prevents you from finding an activity partner. Is you AP jealous ? Mine is, so I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it and if I even want to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 9:57pm

Nope he is not jealous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 10:42pm
Kittery, i understand completely. I am separated and do not want to date. My AP for the most part has been my rock through all of this. I dont want a real R w him but i do want him in my life. He pulled back alot very recently but he is better than nothing...

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