Conscience or what???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Conscience or what???
5
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 9:54pm

So my emotionalAP and I are in a great place.  We talk everyday via phone and text and talk about everything.  Some conversations we have had, innocent enough, made me think "damn, we ARE talking about us". We have talked about others who cheat or situations like that. We have also talked more about our spouses casually. He asked me about xmas gifts for her.  He sent me a poem today about a womans worth, he said he thought it was a nice poem and he wanted to share it with me.  

Guilty consience, second thoughts or are we, in our own weird way getting closer?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 5:05pm

  This is the time to think.  EA can be fun but they are not real.  Many time it is only in our minds.  Phone,vid,texts are not the same as another person.  In your real life what is happening?  What is the current relationship? 

    Sometimes the excitement is the driving force.  We humans like the NRE (New Relationship Experience).  The "high" we feel is more than we are currently experiencing with our at home person.   Emotional, sexual,intellectual stimulation are all "needs" that we have after food water,shelter.  What do you want from this?

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Thu, 12-06-2012 - 9:58pm

I am not complaining, I am very happy with things the way they are right now.  I was really thinking outloud and seeing if anyone experiences what I am experiencing.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 12-07-2012 - 2:50pm

  Actually Yes.  Been there and learned although it was fun it did take me away from doing what I wanted in the real world.  If you are happy  that 's fine as long as you are with the realization that this is a fantasy.  Just like watching a movie that stirs emotions.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2012
Sat, 12-08-2012 - 6:14pm

My own affair went through a stage of sweet mystery, in which we like the act of love and just concentrated on that.   However, you can only carry that so far.    After a few weeks, we began to talk more about our lives, feelings etc.    We became very confidantial, and soon, it began to feel so intense.   However, that lessened as time went  on because it is essentially like any relationship: honeymoon period, then reality.   Now, it seems like a well worn groove, as what happens even in marriage or LTR or whatever.    Many affairs do not survive this phase, but ours has.   It has been 10 years.   Yes, 10 years.   I suppose it is beyond an affair, more like the romance in that movie with Alan Alda, called "Same time next year" than anything else...   PL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 8:29am

I've been seeing my AP for at least once a week for nearly 3 years.  We talk and text constantly thru out the day too.  I keep waiting for the excitement to wear off but it hasnt slowed down.