Considering future with MM
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Considering future with MM
| Sun, 02-08-2004 - 11:36pm |
Hi everyone: Well after 5 years of involvement with my MM, I am actually considering what was 'the unthinkable' in the beginning of the A, and contemplating making the move to leave my H. My M is miserable, and so is MM's. I keep thinking, I am not getting any younger (48 years old), and what do I have left, maybe 20 good years or so (if I am so lucky),and MM too. As we all know, there are certainly no guarantees in this world. With so many posts in which the general consensus is to not upset the apple cart and leave their M's, I'm just curious how many out there are now starting to have second thoughts (like myself), and are considering taking the plunge? It would be a total upheaval to my kids but I know in my heart he and I belong together. We (MM and I) have talked about it in the past. He is staying in his M for his younger daughter's sake at this point, which is fine by me, for now. Just curious if anyone else out there is having these feelings. Thanks, Virgogirl

Oh -- and don't do both exercises at the same time. Address the marriage first.. it may just change the dynamics of the affair. SSis
Figuring out the way to actually leave my marriage has been the hardest for me...and I wish I could figure out a way to view my affair as a separate entity from my marriage, but the two are so interconnected. I doubt I would have even thought about leaving my H if this other person hadn't come into my life. I simply wasn't looking.....
Thanks for the tip here about listing the good and bad points of both. I may use that exercise for myself.
Its a hard thing to do going thru a D, BTDT. And I wouldn't want to do it again.
You don't know what will happen with your A afterwards though, it will probably change. I know I talked awhile ago about leaving H, and told MM I would probably date if I did. That gave him something to think about. But he never suggested that he would leave his W, the only thing he's ever said about that was "maybe after his kids are in college he would leave if things were the same".
So you really can't depend on the MM to change his situation. But if you really feel strongly about leaving your M, just make sure you are doing it for the right reason: YOU.
Take care,
Dusty