contact after 7 weeks NC
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contact after 7 weeks NC
| Mon, 09-22-2003 - 2:24pm |
I'm so nervous and excited I can hardly type right now. My MM has contact me today after 7 weeks of not hearing from him. He didn't say goodbye or anything. Now today he gets ahold of me again by IM. When I ask him where he's been, he said he's been really busy and needed a break. I am all mixed up in my feelings, on the one hand, I'm so happy and would love to see him, on the other, he hurt my feelings alot by not even answering me when I tried to contact him several weeks ago. Has anyone been in this boat, and should I forgive the guy and give him another chance? I really liked him alot, but I was just getting to the point where I was resigned to not seeing him ever again. I don't know if I should play hard to get, or just accept the fact that it was a really busy time for him, and I wasn't his first priority. Any advice??

Until you are ready to connect with the disappointed and rejected feelings, you will not be able to play "hard to get" or BE "hard to get". Instead, you will be "easy" and devalued by this man. But hey, who am I to talk? I let it happen to me once too.
Here's what I will do. I always aplolgise for any mistakes I have made, so I expect the OM to also accept his mistakes and behavior in the past. Any R cannot survive for long if you skirt around the issues or problems. They will only lead to its end. JMHO
I wish you the best with your MM after the long NC. You seem to be going with your heart on this..you seem to want to see him so do so...but try and hold and guard your heart if you can. I know plaing hard to get is tempting..I am tempted to do the same.
I am still battling with the 3 wk NC with my MM. He called a few times and it turns out that when he called he really could not contact me (due to my cell not able to get a signal in my building at work). But that was after the 3 wk-NC..it still bugs me. He was supposed to call yesterday and DID not. He has work issues may be getting laid off soon and he is terrified. He mortaged his home for his wife's new business and I assume he is quite worried about that. I still love him but I need to be more of a priority to him. I am quite confused..sure his calling has made me feel good... the excitement of the little attention from him..Yet I am sick of the small scraps and crumbs being thrown to me. If he is going thru sooo much why does he not need to talk it over with me? He was the one that said that he had this "plan" for us to be together..I just don't believe him anymore if he can't even call weekly. Just venting ~Cheetah~
Continue with the NC, you need time to think. It's been almost the same amount of time for me as it has been for you. That initial week was so difficult, I never believed I'd get through it, but I have, and with each passing day, I find myself getting a bit stronger. I'm not saying that the hurt goes away, nor does the sadness and loneliness, but, eventually, you'll begin to think about what's best for you, and not focus all of your energies on if you'll hear from him.
It's a miserable situation we're in, and I swear, after reading posts on these help lines, that all of these men, are really the same one. I'm wondering if it's all a genetic defect they possess!
Take care of yourself and STAY STRONG. Don't allow him to pull you back into that whirlpool where you can't swim your way out.
My thoughts are with you.
Lily
Dusty
Lily:
Thanx so much for your support. I wonder if he is trying to slowly end it with me as well. I am trying to be strong...sittin on my hands not to call him. You are so right "we all have the same man" i love it. ~Cheetah~