Control Freak MM
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Control Freak MM
| Mon, 05-10-2004 - 9:22pm |
First, let me begin to say that I have been having an affair with my MM for 14 YEARS! WE are both married and have kids. His kids are all in college!!! We used to work together that is how we met! He never picks up a phone to call me unless I have left him messages to call me!! EEKK! As you can tell by reading this, that I am probably a moron for putting up with this man who dictates to me. This relationship is extremely one-sided, he sees me when he can; this is what he tells me. Tells me when I tell him that it should be 2 sided, he responds with...well that a choice you made. Basically, I have been extremely patient with him. Waiting to hear from him, (never), waiting to see him, (when it's convenient). This is not a normal (affair) relationship. He even said to me "define relationship"!! When he is with me, man does he tell me that I am the best, how much he loves it, etc. But you would think that if you are so busy and can't get the time to see me, wouldn't you just pick up a phone! Please read the other messages that I wrote! Controling freak is what he is. Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with such an a**hole who is a control freak!

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give him a taste of his own medicine ---
K
Tell Bill Clinton to take a hike.
Fourteen years you've put up with this? Why? He isn't a control freak, dear. A control freak would be telling you what to do, trying to control the situation and making sure he knows where you are and what you're doing so that he would feel like you were under his thumb. This guy is just a jackass.
I just cannot imagine why you'd put up with this. I'm not trying to be cruel when I say this, but I think you might consider some sort of counseling for yourself. To remain in this long term pseudo-relationship with no future, no rewards and no respect hints that you may have some issues you would find it helpful to discuss. This is not an affair. It's a convenient fling for him at best.
Good luck.
rain
**Terri**
I have almost the same thing. My mm is an executive who is very busy so I make that his excuse. I have always been the one to do the initiating from day one. We have only been together 7 mos and I am not sure I could deal with this setup for 14 years but never say never I always say! I've seen several of your posts this morning and it does seem like a game to him. I have not gotten to the point where I just wait and wait for him to call me. I always call. It might not be for a week but I do call. Normally I get his vm but this morning I called (part business part personal) and he picked up right away. I hadn't called him since last Wed. We had a great coversation him appologizing (again) because he has been so busy. My message here is when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired you will do something about it. I'm not at that point, I enjoy the relationship so even if he is a busy man I want to be understanding since his W isn't. Of course that is what I say THIS week! LOL
dd
Dusty
I notice that you wrote that when he is with you he says that he "loves it". Is "it" the A? Does he love you? After 14 years I would hope that he would have some feelings for you beyond just wanting to be physical with you. Have you ever discussed your feelings for one another?
It sounds like he is taking you for granted, and is expecting you to be there for him whenever and whereever he needs you. What about your needs and feelings? It does sound one-sided, and after 14 years, you deserve much better than that.
I hope everything works out for you, whatever you decide to do.
((hugs))
Circe
As for his feelings, he keeps telling me that he doesn't feel the same way as I do. I have told him that I love him but don't expect to jeopardize his life nor mine. I know that after 14 years, there is more to this than he lets on. I think it a mind game that he plays. Telling me that his feelings are not the same but still comes around.
I don't know...I am tired of trying to anaylze his comments. Just tell me. If you don't share the same feelings then why stay in this relationship for 14 years. I think he takes me for an idiot.
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