Me too try not to probe much. My AP was staying away from his W for around a year and we tried to be together but plans fell apart. Even after they got together, for a long while they dint have sex but after a while I knew the pressure would be so much on him and I was afraid I would have to hear it confirmed. So, I stopped asking and sometimes I feel from his talks like things are better between them and I cant stop wondering. But I am with my H and I know the dynamics of a marriage, so I try to cope with the fact in my mind that we cant stay away from our spouses for long esp when they are being too loving even after coming to know of the A. Both of us try to avoid this Q as far as possible. He has always been honest with me and I dont want him to lie to me now even if it is to save me the hurt. The same with him.
I wont say that all APs are just playing. Their feelings are also involved in most cases. But the big Q is do you think they love you more than their Ws, more than everything they have in life. Are you their priority? If so, there is a point in you wasting your life for him. Else, don't make him a priority in your life. If your AP has made it clear that they can't take solid steps to be with you, don't wait any longer. Your life is passing by. Some of the advices I have received has worked very well with me in reducing the emotional involvement. For me, NC didn't work, the more I tried to stay away, the more it dragged me to him and made the bond stronger. But what worked for me is trying to divert my energies into something else that I loved passionately, going out more with my other friends, defining some goals for you to achieve this year, working out (this really lets out some feel good chemicals which will help you overcome better), find things to do so that you are occupied all the time. Don't focus on the A or think too much about something that you cant change. Don't cut contacts completely if you are not ready for it but reduce and finally minimise it to an extend that you will soon find this person as just a man. I know its easier said than done, but still, give it a try. I can safely say that after 2 months of this, I am over my obsessive stage, now I can survive with an email a day..before 24/7 we were together some way or other.
My AP has said that he has been unable to maintain you-know-what either orally or during IC since our A started some months ago. He tells me it is because our lovemaking - though only a handful of times - is so passionate and I am so in tune with his body that he can't stop thinking of me. Unfortunately this was one of the first signs his W picked up on.
He knows that my H and I continue to have IC - more often now since we entered MC. He says he cannot allow himself to picture it. His only hope is that the lovemaking he and I share is more passionate.
But AP is on vac w/ W now and I am betting he will have "forgotten" me while away . . . sigh. Today is going to be a hard day.
I also believe that MW/SW in A will be true about the sex life at home and they can be trusted on that while MM or SM,we all know,can lie about it just to get some extra.It depends on how truthful your AP is and how much you trust them.
I have to say that this one of the most difficult issues for us sinlge women to deal with. My AP tells me all the time that he sleeps in one room and W is in another.
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My AP has said that he has been unable to maintain you-know-what either orally or during IC since our A started some months ago. He tells me it is because our lovemaking - though only a handful of times - is so passionate and I am so in tune with his body that he can't stop thinking of me. Unfortunately this was one of the first signs his W picked up on.
He knows that my H and I continue to have IC - more often now since we entered MC. He says he cannot allow himself to picture it. His only hope is that the lovemaking he and I share is more passionate.
But AP is on vac w/ W now and I am betting he will have "forgotten" me while away . . . sigh. Today is going to be a hard day.
I also believe that MW/SW in A will be true about the sex life at home and they can be trusted on that while MM or SM,we all know,can lie about it just to get some extra.It depends on how truthful your AP is and how much you trust them.
Hello Ladies,
I have to say that this one of the most difficult issues for us sinlge women to deal with. My AP tells me all the time that he sleeps in one room and W is in another.
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