Could it be me?
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Could it be me?
| Mon, 11-03-2003 - 3:06pm |
I was just talking to MM and I said he seems "not happy." He said, "I'm not." I told him I'm not either and he said, "Talk to me." So finally, until we were interrupted, we got in a good conversation. I told him last week terrified me and he assumed I meant when we were walking out of the building together and his wife saw us. Well, his W knows we're friends so of course that didn't bother me. I didn't even think a thing about it until today when he said he thought his wife was getting suspicious. Anyway, I said it scared me because we got so close and then on Friday he seemed like he was pulling away and he said he wasn't...that he thinks I'M the one who gets scared and I manufacture this whole thing about him pulling away to push him away myself. That got me to thinking... Is it possible that it IS me? Maybe he doesn't pull away at all. Earlier today, for instance, he seemed distant but when I think back on it, he seemed to be watching me for cues on how to act, and I was being distant. So if I'd gone in there all flirtatious, what would have happened? How much does my behavior affect what happens?
Someone once compared an A to going down this wrong path, where you know you're getting deeper and deeper and you want out but there's no way out. You turn around and try to head back in the direction from which you came but that way is blocked, so then you keep moving forward but up ahead you just know disaster awaits you. Will the W find out? Will your H find out? Will he end up calling it off someday just out of the blue and leave you brokenhearted? HOW IS IT GOING TO END??? Sorry to burden the board with all this, but I have a feeling some of the others on here have felt this way before. I think my biggest thing in this is just a general fear of what lies ahead. Just not knowing where this is going...

Edited 9/20/2004 1:59 pm ET ET by seansluv
Someone is probably going to flame me for stating a negative post, but you asked. Be very careful with your heart. It's a fragile thing. It's very easy to get sucked into the intensity of an ema.... but keep your head, no matter what.
Sorry.
Carmen
Your words of wisdom as always appreciated!
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com