Could use some advice
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Could use some advice
| Mon, 01-18-2010 - 6:29pm |
I haven't posted in here in quite a while, and feel bad for jumping back in with a problem, but I could really use some advice.

Hi Create~
First off I have a hard time saying some things the right way. So I'm gonna give it a shot.
I completely understand how you are feeling? My AP/now BF kept a lot of things from me. Like you, I had to form my own opinion by things that he would tell me. Then when he did choose to tell me things I mostly just sat back and listened.
To me it sounds like AP didn't want to upset you with the news of the Lake House. He knew it would probably upset you and make you feel like he was pushing you away, like you said it was a sign of them putting together their "happy-ever-after". I'm sure he does love you very much especially since yall have been together 3+ years.
You really need to think about what it is you want. He says he's not leaving, but then from what you wrote it looks like the lake house is where he's gonna live, they don't sleep in the same bed or have sex. So something is going on. Maybe right now he's feeling he needs to deal with home life and figure out what it is he really wants. Maybe the kids of hers are getting in the way.
I wouldn't let him go just yet if you really love him. I would of course do your own thing and let him have a little space. Be there to listen like you have been before. If he asks for advice give it, if not just listen.
It will work itself out and with a little more time you will be able to come to terms with what it is you need to do.
If you love him, don't throw him out just because he pushed you away for a little while. I almost lost my AP/BF who is the love of my life by doing something like you wanted to do. I'm now divorce x3 months, BF lives with me and his D will be final at the end of this month. Things aren't PERFECT, we still struggle through things since he is married still and has kids. But we work through them. Never in the beginning of my 2+ year A did I imagine we would be where we are.
So hang on if it's really what you want.
Keep me posted please.
((((HUGS)))) to you!!!
I think you should trust your instincts ... In my opinion he wants you to think he is miserable, when in fact he is NOT.
Thanks for the replies.