could use some feedback

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
could use some feedback
3
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 8:37am

Hi all I recently found this board and I am very thankful to all of you who write here and share your experiences.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 8:54am

This is very typical of a lot of guys in an A. They don't seem to feel guilt before sex, but afterward (and I mean often within minutes of the orgasm!) it comes rushing in. They will usually distance themselves or act a little cool for awhile after, and then warm up again.

To me, it always seemed like it meant their sex drive was the driving force behind their return to being warm and friendly again, and I hated that. I think one thing that drew me to my OM was the fact that he did NOT experience this "push and pull".

Decide if you can live with this, because it will likely happen over and over, leading to the infamous "roller coaster".

And don't kid yourself about sex NOT changing your friendship. One or both of you might develop romantic feelings (usually the woman - our hormones sort of guide us that way) and then nothing will ever be the same again. At this point you could stop and keep your friendship the way it is. Think about it...

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2008
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 9:16am

Lexi is right about the male hormone contact/no contact thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 9:57pm

Thanks ladies for all of the advice.

I basically waited to hear back from him and felt horrible for a week that he wasnt contacting me in any way. I really thought everything was totally messed up and he was regretting it because he was acting strange at work and I felt like he was avoiding me.

The day before our scheduled work visit he magically said everything was OK and he really wanted to see me...

This is the roller coaster that is new to me and I am scared of that. I just felt so incredibly horrible and then all of a sudden it was all gone when he called like everything was normal. We had a great visit with each other and he left me wanting more. He was much better after the second meeting and so far hasnt been acting strange at work.

I know I have no idea what Im really getting into but I just cant stop.

I really appreciate everyones advice.

thanks
sue