Could we be "just friends"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Could we be "just friends"?
7
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 10:33pm

Dear Members,


Glad to find you all here and would like to seek your views on my case, it's a bit long:-


I am M, with a daughter. H is a good man but the spark is gone, have never wanted to leave my family behind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 12:22am

>>>"OK, I am acting like a teenager and would really like to know:- Honestly, are we just friends......? "<<<

NOPE. If you guys are doing things that you don't want your spouses to know, then it's an AFFAIR. It's just a matter of time before you'll both be jumping into bed together. With all this promiscuity between the two of you, I hope you use protection.

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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 3:18am

Thank You Goddess for your honest opinion......


Don't think we will ever get in the sack, he accused me of seducing him years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:35am

Look at F's history so far. There were two women that he "almost" got intimate with, but he didn't. For him, he wants to remain physically faithful.

But I agree with Goddess, he's willing to have emotional affairs, and that's what you've got. If you try to push him or seduce him into a physical affair, he will most likely blame you and part of him will be angry with you, so I wouldn't do that.

It IS possible for men and women to be "just friends", even with sexual tension between them, but if it's truly a "friendship" only, then the spouses know about it and are OK with it and are even included sometimes in the friendship. When it's secret, it's an affair.

If the two of you get physical, I think you will lose the "friendship/emotional affair" part of your R. I'm not "all knowing" so I don't know this for sure, but I think he would have a lot of guilt and would withdraw from you. It's a big risk if you value whatever it is you do have.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 2:40pm

From what you have written, I'd say no you are not 'just friends'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Tue, 05-12-2009 - 7:03am

Thank You Lexione and Martialatrsmom!


Your analysis of the situation is right on the spot!


Lexione is so right that F will live in guilt if anything sexual happens between the 2 of us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Fri, 10-02-2009 - 5:20am

Some updates....


F and I have met twice since my last posts and sparing emails in between.


Well, during the first dinner, he brought up the issue of travelling together to a place where we have both wanted to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 9:50pm

Updates.....


Well, F and I finally went on a trip together to a very far place.