Crazy Affair - Silly Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
Crazy Affair - Silly Question
3
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:46pm

I am new to this site but about 5 weeks into a PA.

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 3:56pm

Not a silly question. YES you should ask her that. Make sure you are both in this affair on the same terms. Believe me, right now, it's not emotional, but it will be, very, very.

I'm the MW and I'd have been crushed if my OM decided to start dating and didn't share that info with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 6:12pm
Well i think you should tell her. I was in an affair for 10 yrs. My AP got a divorce. He lied to me and maybe even to himself. The plan was if i came to see him twice a week. He wouldn't date. He knew i wasn't leaving my marriage. Well one year after his divorce he has met someone. He never told me. I was devastated. Maybe i didn't have the right to have been. But i was so hurt. I even asked him if he was dating. I just had a feeling he was. He said no. I believe it wouldn't have been as bad if i had known. I found out by seeing it on his MySpace profile. Then i asked and he admitted it. Don't keep this from her. This is something that need to be discussed. It may not be emotional now. But as time goes by it might be. JMO
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2009
Wed, 05-27-2009 - 8:05pm
Definitely ask. Better to set some ground rules right now than have it all blow up later. Clarify with her exactly where things stand. If you ask and she prefers you don't date/see anyone else -- are you willing to do that? Make sure it's all very clear.