CROSSED THE LINE
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| Thu, 01-29-2004 - 10:22am |
When I got home and to my room and saw my desk covered with pictures of my BF it hit me, hard. And I started to cry. I didn't think I would feel that guilty. I feel okay now because I'm maintaining my composure so my mom doesn't notice anything when I walk out the door to my best friend whom I need consoling from. As I type I try not to look at the pictures above, because they make it worse. I think I'm going to be okay. But I've realized that I love my BF and don't want to lose him. I like the OM. Like. He's a really sweet friend. And I think I got over excited at this new attention, which of course I don't get from my BF because we're used to each other and have been together awhile. You know how things get after the honeymoon stage.
I've already made the OM feel guilty by calling him crying afterwards. I hope by the time I get to work I'm better and can take some of the guilt off of him by telling him I'll be okay. I told him we are both equally responsible. I went over to his house knowing there was a chance of something happening. And I don't believe things just happen. You have control over every action. And I let myself consciously make the wrong decision. I think I am actually calming myself by typing all this out. And I just don't know what else to say... So I guess this is the end of my post...
Suzu

hi suzu and welcome to the board.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
suzu -- if you truly feel you have made a mistake being intimate with OM, then resolve not to be alone with him again.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board