Curious About Love

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Curious About Love
8
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 4:33pm
From reading many of the posts here it seems a majority of you are in love with your AP. Right now I am in an EAP and it hasn't turned physical yet. I wonder if once it does, is that when most of you began to realize you are in love with your APs? If I think about it, right at this moment, I do not love my EAP, but I am very fond of him and very attracted to him. Could I fall in love with EAP in the future? Well anything is possible. So my question is, did you fall in love with AP before or after the A became a PA?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 4:59pm

Hi jersey,


Although I had deep feelings and cared for AP before it became a PA, I think that I definately fell in love after the PA started.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:16pm

ali...Your statement about whether the word "love" actually means that much in an affair got me to thinking.

TanZa2920
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:28pm

If you go to EAS or the "Both sides" board, you will find some heated arguments about whether AP's really "love" each other, with some pretty strong statements that it is impossible to have real love in an A.

I think it is possible to love in an A relationship.

There have been situations all through human history where people fall in love with someone they can not be with, and they can't show it to them "every day in every way", and it wasn't always an affair situation. Sometimes it was a class thing, sometimes a racial thing - societies weren't always like ours is today, it's sometimes hard to remember.

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 6:31pm
Sex usually brings on the "bonding" hormone of oxytocin, so I think more people are apt to "fall in love" after having sex. Very often women come here and think they can have a "physical only" affair, but very often they DO develop deep feelings with the sex.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 7:06pm

I've been in an emotional relationship with OM for almost 5 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 10:38pm

Well, shoot...Lexi and Bird got in here first and stole my thunder :)~


I have also read all the "debates" on whether or not love is possible in an A. And I fully understand/see both sides/rationales. I just can't buy them both, though.


There are so many people in my life whom I love...and I love them in different ways. I know I'm sick and twisted, but I can't wrap my mind around why my feelings for AP are not genuine because of the nature of our relationship. From what I gather, to some, if you stripped away the romantic/sexual aspect, it would then be genuine...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 10:50pm
It's hard to say for me, since I was in love with AP 20 years ago.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 11:20pm

My AP and I were in love with each other before the EA or PA started.