curious...how long in EMA?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
curious...how long in EMA?
20
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:00am
I am just curious as to how long each of us have been involved in our EMA, and secondly, how many have been "found out" by your H/W?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:07am
We've known each other 3 years, flirted outrageously each time we saw each other (different States so only rarely), then we began working together and phone contact became almost daily. Began having an emotional connection about a year ago. First had phone sex last October, first kiss this February.... and it's just progressed from there. Husband has no idea and never will if the fates are kind and we are careful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:13am
We were aquiantances/co-workers for about two years before we became friends. Prior to that we've never had a serious conversation. We became good friends and he and his g/f at the time attended our wedding. We became really good friends and then finally expressed our feelings of attraction, then my H and I attended his wedding. Started the EMA about four months ago and it's been a roller coaster since. Sometimes he's hot and sometimes he's cold. I'm always hot so it sucks for me. H asked if I had a crush on MM before. He knows we're good friends. I denied it. He hasn't asked since. I really don't think he suspects anything, at least I hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:13am
I guess emotionally I've been with OM for 2.5 years. Physically intimate only for about 7 months now.

H doesn't know, and hopefully won't ever find out either. Even when I leave, I would prefer that OM isn't in the picture.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:18am
Mine has been going on for 6 yrs. on and off...but, mostly on. I can't believe it's already been that long. I never thought in a million years that it would last this long!

In the beginning I sort of lead on to my H that there was another guy, just to get his attention, because I feel that he isn't interested in me anymore like a H should be. He even found a letter (to make a long story short) basically stating that I was in affair. He asked me if I was still doing it, and I said, no...and that was it, he never mentioned it again. Sometimes I think he doesn't even care.

I found out that my H was cheating on me (which I think is why I started my affair in the first place, out of revenge.) by finding a bracelet in my bed, that definitly wasn't mine!! He then finally confessed after I freaked out! pretty awfull, huh? I can't believe that I'm doing it to another wife, knowing how terrible a feeling that is. I guess I try not to think about her. I feel so terrible when I do.

Unsure

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:33am
My A has lasted 9 years. I have been married 18 years. Wow, half my married life. I can't believe it has been that long. There have been ups and downs and I had no intentions for it lasting 9 years. This is the only A I have ever had.

My H has suspected at times. Frankly, my H is emotionally weak and I would have respected him more if he had confronted me about this man. He is my boss and we travel occasionally together. He has also been my best friend and there for me in so many ways.

The relationship is sexual, but the emotional is the main attraction.

Wow, 9 years of the 18 I have been married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:51am
I guess I didn't answer my own question...LOL! OM and I worked together for 5 years and were good "work" friends, and occassionally H & I would socialize with OM and his W, but nothing else was EVER hinted at. We both left for other jobs, etc, about 6 years ago. Families ran into each other on rare occasions at the store, restaurants, etc. Fast forward to this year...he had since moved over 300 miles away. We have kept in loose contact...emails every 3 or 4 months...nothing personal at all, just how is the weather, how is the family, etc. Well, we ended up in the same town due to a meeting of his and a conference of mine so we decided to catch up on old times. I still don't know why or how on earth it happened, but we ended up at his motel. We were both caught very off guard but it unleashed a flury of feelings that neither one of us realized we had for each other. AND, it was VERY hot! So, long story short, we have been seeing each other for 3 months since then. Only get together in person on average of once or twice a month due to the distance between us. We email or talk on the phone almost daily during the week. His W has no idea to my knowledge. My H knows me very well and has picked up on some vibes, I guess, because he did check up on me last time (which he has NEVER done, nor needed to) and found out I wasn't at the location I said I would be and called when we were together and asked where was I, who was I with, etc. Had to do some VERY fast scrambling and thinking, but managed to cover well. We are sort of laying low for now because of that and busy schedules. There aren't any more suspicions from H, to my knowlege. I agree with the post that said "if the fates are kind" H will never find out because neither one of us are willing to leave our M's (kids). Neither one of us are really unhappy at home either, although I do know he and his W have had some problems recently.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 11:13am
I've been involved with my MM for about 7 months, just a little over a month, sexually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 11:17am
Four years and still going strong...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 12:54pm


For about a year and 1/2...but we were friends...(sort of.. he is a client of mine) for a few months before "it" started... More emotional than physical and I have a problem with it..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 12:56pm
I've been involved with MM for about 6 months - we're not having a full-blown sexual affair, although I'm hoping!! OM seems to think that "president Clinton style" isn't cheating - silly, silly boy.

In all seriousness, there's a strong emotional connection and an even stronger sexual attraction. Like IBC mentioned, OM goes hot and cold as fear sets in, but I'm always hot so I make the roller coaster ride worse.

As for being found out . . . I don't think H knows. He's noticed some changes in me, but I've always got all sorts of issues going on (LOL!). A mutual friend of ours confronted OM recently and that's put him on guard. I don't think that the friend really has any idea of the extent of our relationship, but he asked enough questions to freak out MM.

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