D-Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
D-Day
15
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 3:40pm

Maybe it doesn't count since we were already planning on getting a D anyway, but H found out about AP.


Apparently he's had his suspicions, and after he "caught" me talking to AP the other night, used his techie knowledge to start digging up stuff I had deleted.

anotherseyes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 4:22pm

Hugs another.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 4:31pm

OOPS ! This is where the ugly stuff begins.How are you coping? Have you told your AP about this?You better do so he is prepared for anything your H might do/say.I just hope that he doesnt throw you under the bus.
D or not,only your H knows now.

" But he's also worried that "this guy" is taking advantage of me and is only going to hurt me down the road. "

You do know your AP better than anyone but sometimes guys just 'know' other guys ,you kwim? Your H may or may not be right.

Keep us updated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 4:33pm

Hi Another...I'm so sorry that your H found out...even if you are already planning a divorce this is still going to be a blow to your H and make him question the motives behind the D.

Hopefully he will know (and you can tell him) that the marriage was not working even before you had an A. How has he been reacting to you since he told you that he knew? Angry, hurt, sad, everything? How much does he know from finding the deleted stuff on the computer? Is he going to

LouLou
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 6:22pm

He knows a lot!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 6:38pm

I think even for her husband there is no reason to react , when she has already told him she needs divorce .




Edited 7/1/2010 6:40 pm ET by bestplayer
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 8:08pm

" But he's also worried that "this guy" is taking advantage of me and is only going to hurt me down the road. "


Because he saw a chat where I had told AP that I love him and he doesn't love me (was asking how he could understand how I was feeling), and AP changed the subject (usual MO).

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 9:20pm
If your husband showed you stuff off the computer - he's got some kind of software on your computer that is monitoring your usage, websites, email accounts and basically everything you're doing. If it's your computer, take it in and have it cleaned off or call a techie friend and ask them to do it if you can't figure out how to uninstall it - and don't use that computer (or his!) anymore to say or read anything you don't want to haunt you. Go out and buy a new computer if you have to but do not do anything on it anymore that you don't want him to know about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 12:59pm

Well, now H is essentially blackmailing me.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:31pm

Hi another,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: anotherseyes
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 2:34pm

Ooh, yeah, that is a tricky situation.

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