D-Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
D-Day
3
Fri, 07-10-2009 - 7:32am
Hi! Long time lurker 4 years in A, both M. Received a terse e-mail last week that some texts were found and nothing since.How do you handle the NC and the not knowing what is going on and act normal in your everyday life. I have been living on xanax. How do you know what was told? I was stupid enough to believe that this would never happen. He just forgot to erase the texts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
In reply to: thedance2005
Fri, 07-10-2009 - 10:41am

Unfortunately, we all fool ourselves into believing we'll never get caught.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: thedance2005
Fri, 07-10-2009 - 2:53pm

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I had a d-day as well, so I know the pain associated with that. I will say this...you know that his situation has changed. He is very likely going through a tremendous amount of scrutiny at home now that his wife is aware that an A has been going on.

NC is no doubt hard. You were in an A for four years. He has likely not forgotten you. I suspect he has been working on his marriage and is deciding what to do for himself in all this.

As difficult as it is, I think that you need to give him space right now. He will come to you when/if he is ready to do so.

As for you, please take care of you. I know this is going to sound trite, and nearly impossible, but remember to take care of yourself in this and do something just for you everyday. No matter how small.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
In reply to: thedance2005
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 9:47am
Thank you both for your thoughts. I have tried not to contact