D-Day Followup: Sad
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| Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:23am |
After my post yesterday where I detailed A's W finding out because he didnt delete emails and she found my # on phone bill, then her blowing up my phone all night and morning - she finally stopped when I told her I would call the police for harrassment. But, in the afternoon yesterday, A started sending me these msg's "I will be alone forever, no one wants me, you don't want to be my friend anymore, whatever, etc.." When he says "whatever" it means "f&*k it"
Stupidly, I told him I would always try to be his friend but I still thought it was best I leave him alone. Then he texted me a few times saying "is that what you really want, if so that sucks" Crap though, he just got busted - rightly so he should back off me and I back off him.
I texted back "no" to his msg about never talking to him again and that was it. Nothing at night or this morning. I know its done. I need it to be done but I am friggin upset and sad. Im upset he got caught and had to go thru it and Im angry I went thru it too with W calling me names, etc.. but I take full blame as it comes with the territory.
I can't help myself though all night thinking about what he was doing, did she leave him and move out like he told me she was going to do, was he okay, were they fighting, etc. My good friend who has been in an A off and on says he will eventually write me. I said no, I honestly dont think he will and she swears they come back. My mantra for today and going forward one day at a time is "I dont need him back, focus on myself and my boys, I dont need him back, I dont need him back" BUT ITS HARD.
I screwed up this morning texting his business phone I know she wouldnt have and simply said R U OK? No response. I promise to all on here and myself, I am going to leave him alone. Yet, he was all sweet yesterday afternoon after this went down with the above texts in the first paragraph and even asked me if I was ever going to leave my H as I had told him before I thought about many times. I know good and well A and I could never have a real R. I just miss the talks, the sex of course, excitement and his prescence when I did have it. On to better things in life!

Thanks for the follow-up, Confused.
I can imagine it's very hard, but you will be fine.. just stop all communications for now, as you have been trying..
The thing is, for his family, this is very traumatic.. you can go to the Betrayed Spouses forum and see what happens in the family in the aftermath.. maybe reading there will give you a sense of what is happening with him..
You have been fortunate so far, so just keep a very low profile so that this doesn't spill over to your family.
He'll go through a ton of mixed emotions, accepting you one moment, rejecting, self-pity, anger, etc.. you cannot be there for him through all this, though you wish you could. you would make it worse. the best thing you can do both for you and him is to keep silent.. even if he asks for your support..
Do some reading.. keep us posted..
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