The Day After Syndrome?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
The Day After Syndrome?
8
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 12:31pm
How many experience this? A great evening with MM leaves you feeling great. You wake up the next day and can't get a hold of him because he's with his wife. Then the terrible feelings start... anger, guilt and the question, "Why am I involved with a MM?" I finally told him that if we see each other, he's GOT to call me the next day. The earlier in the day, the better. Am I just too sensitive or does everyone go through these feelings?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 12:46pm
hi ssum....

I have been going through that for years with my MM,,,,, as much as he knows

how much the next day call means to me... it never happens even after 5yrs

he'll say, I'll at the end of the week...... then sometimes go into a funk and

not call at all.... this is always a problem and drives me nuts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 3:12pm
I think we all go through that. I hate it too. You spend the day together, then you make love to each other, he kisses you goodbye and then he's gone. And where is he? Where does he go? Back to his wife! You're on a high and then the morning comes. You're still feeling it and no call and you stare at the phone.

I don't like it and I get very jealous and very sad at the same time. Bottom line it sucks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 11-08-2003 - 4:48pm
I also go through a day after syndrome, but mine is a little different. My MM usually calls me on his way home to tell me he loves me and we almost always talk everyday anyway. My thing is that we only see each other about every 2-3 weeks. I know that the after we have been together, it will be a very long time until I see him again. I get very depressed for days after we get together. We were together earlier this week and it was so magical. Now I am on the downside of the roller coaster. I also wonder if it is worth the flood of emotions. I do know that I don't want to stop seeing him. This whole EMA-thing is crazier than I could ever have imagined. I don't think that you are too sensitive. Does he call you now that you asked him?

Hang in there!

Hugs

RH

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 11-09-2003 - 5:42pm

Hi sum1,


I have definitely been there... I'd be on a high when MM would walk out my door... only to not hear from him until later the next day or even the day after.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 9:54am
special, i feel you're being a little too sensitive. after all, your A isn't the "normal" dating R, is it? step back a little and realize that MM was with you and is now with his W and family.

and just because he doesn't call you the next day doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. and if that's been his practice all along, why are you upset now? revel in the feelings from your "the great evening" and relax about your MM. however, since you've told him how you feel about the NC after being together, let's see if he follows through.

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 1:29pm
Here here! I agree with what Sweet says - I guess the longer it goes on, the more comfortable you become with the routine "afterwards." Not to sound boastful or anything, but I was with MM on Friday night, and as he was driving north, he called me and sang to me...*sigh* - I'm very lucky!

The feelings are all part of the deal though.... it's just another sideline to being involved in a relationship such as these...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 2:06pm
I go thru that sometimes when my MM leaves but I make sure to email him & thank him for a great evening. Funny thing is that usually our emails pass in cyber-space since he's doing the same thing. But when he doesn't answer back I know it's not because he's not thinking about me. It's just because he's busy or tired. (he's always tired when he leaves here) :) Just be patient & he'll get in touch soon!!

Love n hugs,

Hesmyhottie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Tue, 11-11-2003 - 2:11pm
MM and I are drifting apart, I think. We used to work together and he referred to me as his "wife at work". We talked about everything and I did little things for him that made the relationship special. Now he's starting a new business and working another job to pay the bills. He's always busy and his W is more involved. I was always the one telling him the newness and intensity of this wouldn't last forever, but now that he seems too busy for me, it hurts a little. We used to talk for hours... that hasn't happened in months. Sorry to be so down... feeling sad today.