Your situation with your sex life in your marriage sounds exactly like mine. I have been married for 12 years and with him for 15. Two and half years ago, I began an A. It was exciting and fun. The sex was great - once a week, etc. We agreed to be FWB. Well, long story short. I began having feelings. I have kept them under control and have been a bit obessive at times, but with the help of these ladies, I have been able to remain strong and keep things in perspective. I feel that my A is coming to an end. I am relieved. The lying, the feelings, the guilt, the ups and downs on the rollercoaster are the downside of the A. Everything else is fun.
If I had to do it all over again - I would have run as fast as I could the other direction. I am not against with getting my needs met, but I don't know how many women can just get their needs met without having feelings attached.
I don't know if any of that made sense. Good luck and whatever you do, please be careful.
I think that atwitsend hit the nail on the head PERFECTLY! The ONLY reason that I am chiming in is because I don't want you to think that she just had a bad experience, and it will be different for you, because it won't.
A's by nature are brutal. Someone once asked me how I deal w/ all the negative emotions that come w/ playing this game, and it is a game. It's not real. My response to that question was I don't handle them, they handle me. I liken it to a ragdoll. I get picked up loved on, and played w/, and then thrown in the corner until it's time to play again, then it's back to the corner.
You have something that a lot of women on this board don't....a good H. Don't chance loosing that for something so fleeting. Having to look the man that you married in the face after you have devastated him is no easy task.
You asked "How will he know?" You're joking right? Most people are creatures of habit. We do things on a schedule, frequent familiar places, and carry ourselves in a certain manner. Those that love us know these patterns, and when you start to deviate from those norms your H will pick up on it. You can try to carry it the same way, but it will still show. Don't do it, just get out now before it's too late, because that's when the rain will come. Trust me.
Hi there,
Your situation with your sex life in your marriage sounds exactly like mine. I have been married for 12 years and with him for 15. Two and half years ago, I began an A. It was exciting and fun. The sex was great - once a week, etc. We agreed to be FWB. Well, long story short. I began having feelings. I have kept them under control and have been a bit obessive at times, but with the help of these ladies, I have been able to remain strong and keep things in perspective. I feel that my A is coming to an end. I am relieved. The lying, the feelings, the guilt, the ups and downs on the rollercoaster are the downside of the A. Everything else is fun.
If I had to do it all over again - I would have run as fast as I could the other direction. I am not against with getting my needs met, but I don't know how many women can just get their needs met without having feelings attached.
I don't know if any of that made sense. Good luck and whatever you do, please be careful.
Hi,
End it now before it becomes physical.
I think that atwitsend hit the nail on the head PERFECTLY! The ONLY reason that I am chiming in is because I don't want you to think that she just had a bad experience, and it will be different for you, because it won't.
A's by nature are brutal. Someone once asked me how I deal w/ all the negative emotions that come w/ playing this game, and it is a game. It's not real. My response to that question was I don't handle them, they handle me. I liken it to a ragdoll. I get picked up loved on, and played w/, and then thrown in the corner until it's time to play again, then it's back to the corner.
You have something that a lot of women on this board don't....a good H. Don't chance loosing that for something so fleeting. Having to look the man that you married in the face after you have devastated him is no easy task.
You asked "How will he know?" You're joking right? Most people are creatures of habit. We do things on a schedule, frequent familiar places, and carry ourselves in a certain manner. Those that love us know these patterns, and when you start to deviate from those norms your H will pick up on it. You can try to carry it the same way, but it will still show. Don't do it, just get out now before it's too late, because that's when the rain will come. Trust me.
If you can be accepting of the different way that men handle A's. then go for it.