Deep breath...saying hello too...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Deep breath...saying hello too...
6
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 11:53pm
I've been reading this board for a while and am so happy to find a place where it is "safe" to talk.

My story, in a nutshell. Never in a million years did I think I would have an A. In fact my husband and I used to talk about our friends (mostly mine) who had As and how awful it would be, and how we would never do that to each other.

Of course, never say never.

I always thought I was relatively happily married, we certainly had fights and issues and the passion was basically gone, but we were generally nice to each other without huge conflict.

My OM is also married and someone I know closely through my daughter. I knew he had been attracted to me for several years, I just smiled and never thought twice about it, until we started working closely together and all of a sudden it clicked...literally overnight. I swore to him in the beginning that we would never be more than friends; of course that changed as we quickly grew closer and became intimate. It was incredibly amazing to find someone who really adored me, in every sense of the word. Love came very quickly for both of us. We have been together about five months now with no signs of it ending.

We both absolutely will never leave our spouses. He is 10 years older, married nearly 30 years (me 13) and I would never, ever, get between him and his family. We have discussed why we are together, and we have had our ups and downs with separations, but for now we are happy together. I know somewhere in the back of my mind that it will end some day but for now I am enjoying our time together.

That's pretty much it. I just wanted to introduce myself as there are other messages I wanted to respond to, and I thought it best that I tell my story first. So...hello. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 2:06am
Hi bluecrew and welcome,

It's great to see lurkers coming out and sharing their story and offering their own unique wisdom to those on board.

It sounds as though at present you are at a good place in your EMA... I think if you both know what you want and understand the others needs and wants... it's makes for a great start. I never think of when my A will end... like everything else in life... I take it one step at a time... one never really knows what the future may hold... so I don't rely on it... and just live for the moment.

Again... I'm glad you felt that you could post... I look forward to seeing more posts from you in the near future.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 7:25am
Hi blue,

I'm pretty new, too, and was also glad to find this place. Never thought I'd have an A either-never thought anyone would want me, but, boy, my Sweetie does!

So many of the marital situations seem so similar-happy enough, but passion gone. Really a shame.

And yes, I guess we just have to enjoy it as it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 9:27am
Hi blue

Similiar situation here too. Never thought I would, and never plan on leaving H (same with MM). Glad you stepped out of the shadows! This is a great place to come and vent.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 4:25pm
Thanks, everyone. :) I appreciate the kind words, it is so nice to be able to talk to others who really do understand. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 9:21pm
Same for me too! I married VERY young (17) and had only been with my husband for 25 years. The last few years I've been not so happy with my husband but not to the point of leaving. Then, my MM comes along and after being friends and working together for over a year we just kind of fell into this. Neither of us plan on leaving our Ms soon, especially him. But he does hold a very special place in my heart and I am soooo happy when we're together! I only wish it was more often!

I thought I was a really terrible person until I found this board and saw that so many other really nice women are in the same situation. I guess we're not terrible people, we're just trying to be happy in this sometimes really crazy world!!

TA

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 7:35pm
I got married at 21 and had a very happy marriage for the

first 16 years, then everything fell apart. I never thought

I would have an affair and I know for a fact my DH has never

cheated on me, which made the guilt harder to deal with. My

affair filled me up so much inside and made me feel things I

had never felt before. I am no longer with my lover, and have

suffered tremendously because of it. I don't know how to get

over my affair or how to stop wanting to feel that way again.

I fell in love with my DH again, but the sexual attraction is

still gone and I can't stop desiring my OM. I feel the same as

all of you...I can't imagine my life without my DH and I have

no intention to end my marriage. I just don't know how much

longer I can live like this.

If anyone is in the same situation and would like to talk,

feel free to email me:

mrsmm07@yahoo.com

Good luck :)

~~mandy~~