Delurking and dumped...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Delurking and dumped...
4
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:33am
I have been lurking here for a while and unfortunately my first post is a sad one...

I got basically dumped by MM this morning. We have been having a very very very sexually and emotionally intense affair for about six months. We are both in marriages that we will not leave. MM is having problems in his marrige (in counseling, etc.) and told me this morning that he needs to focus all of his attention and time on that right now. Being married myself I totally understand this, but I am still hurt and sad that we have to end things while they are still so fantastic between us. (We were just together two nights ago, and it was one of the best experiences of my life!) I know he still wants me... he told me that point blank. Said he didn't want to hurt me, etc etc. He also said that our love story is like a Shakespearean tragedy, which is not so far from the truth. He said that maybe in a couple of months things will be stable enough for us to resume, but I am not going to hold my breath. We have been talking on the phone several times a day and I am not sure if he's going to want to keep communicating with me like that. I am just really sad and mourning right now. I'm going to miss his support and our time together so much. Anyone else deal with breaking up with your MM when neither of you really want to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:52am
Dear Joselina... so very sad for you. It's such a tough situation. It's easier to call it quits when things are going bad. When they are still new and wonderful, it's so much harder. If it were me, I would make it complete NC (no contact) until he makes up his mind. For your own sanity you can't allow him to jerk you to and fro (even though he won't mean to). Also, by continuing contact (even by phone), you will be making it harder for him to really decide what he wants. Give him some time, but as you said -- don't hold your breath. We'll be thinking of you. Please let us know how it works out, and we're here to help you through it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:59am
joselina -- hang in there honey.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 1:12pm
Thank you both for your support and advice. I can't really talk to anyone about this, for obvious reasons. I agree that NC is the only way at this point. I don't think I would even be able to handle talking to him. DH is out of town this week, so I will have some time to lick my wounds so to speak. (Though I was hoping to spend that time with MM! oh well...) And I'm taking comfort in KNOWING that MM will miss me 'cause I rocked that man's world! ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 2:12pm
girl, stay strong this week while H is out of town.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board