Denial or Affair?
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Denial or Affair?
| Thu, 04-09-2009 - 3:44pm |
I have had an ongoing "relationship" with a man whom i'm very much in love with. He knows it, he says that we share a special love like he never knew, and he wished things could be different for us. ( we are both married with kids, the whole nine yards) His wife knows me and hates me, DH doesnt think much of AP either as they too, know each other. We all met in a social setting a long time ago. Our "affair" started almost two years ago, when we started the emailing back and forth nonstop. and then it progressed to meeting each other. We have never had sex. His wife thinks he doesn't talk to me anymore, and we continue to see each other anyway. Even if to just give each other an ego boost and to tell each other how special they are and share a hug. We do not email each other any more as it was too addicting to sit there and talk to each other nonstop. Does this sound like we are having an affair or cheating on our spouses? My husband knows when i go out someplace that AP is gonna be, but doesn't stop me. And sometimes hubby goes out with me too. Same with Ap's spouse. It is not a big deal if either of us is seen out with our spouse. Ap and i just dont talk to each other. And thats one way how it makes it feel like an affair to me.
In other ways it feels like its an affair is cuz i tell Ap things i would never think of saying to my husband. In some ways i feel like its not an affair cuz we dont have sex. But, we share a lot of mutual interests and beliefs a lot deeper with each other than with our spouse. We dont feel like its an affair or are we just in denial?
In other ways it feels like its an affair is cuz i tell Ap things i would never think of saying to my husband. In some ways i feel like its not an affair cuz we dont have sex. But, we share a lot of mutual interests and beliefs a lot deeper with each other than with our spouse. We dont feel like its an affair or are we just in denial?

Doesn't really matter what you call it, does it? You're doing something behind your spouse's back (as is your AP) and on top of it, you know they don't want you doing it. Call it an A, call it an EA, call it Cheating. It is what it is.
As I mentioned before, I'm certainly not one to judge. And believe me, I'm not. Accept it for what it is. If your H or his W found out, would it be just as devastating to them as if you had had sex? From the sounds if it, I would guess yes. Prepare yourself for that much...
Hope that helps. ((HUGS))
~Angel
I have to agree, In my opinion I would also say it's an A. Obviously more emotional than anything but regardless, you both are doing things you know your spouses wouldn't approve of. Ask yourself this: If your husband was in your exact situation, would you consider that an A? Would you feel betrayed? or would you openly accept it he was doing nothing
You and he both lie to your spouses to continue a relationship with each other. Then if you are out with your spouses and you see each other you pretend and don't talk.
Honey, Yes, that is cheating. You can label it EA, Special friendship, A or whatever you like...but you are cheating. Taking focus away from your primary relationship and putting it elsewhere.
Sex or not, if you are keeping this from your H and meeting in secret...well you get it.
I am not judging (throwing stones would shatter all the windows in my own glass house you know), Just answering your question.