Depressed, what do I do?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:30am |
I post very little here but I do read all of your posts everyday and get very much out of them.
I'm so unhappy, I feel depressed and cry all the time. I think I'm in love with my OM. Here's my situation.
I've lived a hard life with H. Married at 16. I caught him in an A about 3 years ago with his x girlfriend before me. It was awful, I was in so much love with him. But then besides that he has abused me verbally and physically (don't know why I put up with it-and I do cruise the DV board as well). Well I met OM 5 years ago although I didn't know he was into me. Well our A started about 4 months ago and I feel like we have both fell in love. I feel like I would never have started an A, if H had treated me right.
Anyways, back in January I told my H that I wanted our M to be over because I was tired of his ways. He'd punched me about two weeks before and then through a rampage in the kitchen breaking things a few days after that wo that's what triggered me to tell him this.
I see that OM treats me like a queen and that feels so good. He's calm, courtious, loving, and so on ......
Well H says don't leave me, cries, the whole bit and what do I do? I stay but give him and ultimatum. If he lays one more hand on me or throws another fit, I leave. Well, we went out of town for Spring Break and he verbally abuses me and tells me if I act a certain way he's going to beat the sh@# out of me. Well, I'm still there. He just asked me to go lunch with him yesterday and gave me flowers. I don't get it. I know I should be posting this on the DV board as well but somehow you guys feel more familiar to me.
Well anyways, I'm in the middle. I scared to leave H although he's awful to me sometimes but great most of the time. Yet OM is always great to me. What do I do? I cry all the time and want to sleep, these are signs of depression. I'm not happy in my M at all but yet I feel sorry for this fool that hurts me. And there's someone out there (OM) waiting for me. Although, I'm not sure how far he wants to go either. Help, help, help! I need advise desperately.

Pages
pull yourself together and act now! good luck and god's speed confused.
life
What if I'm just overreacting? Then my mother's advise has me confused as well. She told me last night, he's a good guy. Then she said but if he hits you again, then you know what to do. Don't stay.
Well, why do I have to wait for him to hit me again in order to leave. How do I prepare myself to leave, mentally? And my children.
You say that you give me this advise from experience, tell me your story, maybe that will help me. Please, please, please.
Sometimes I just think I should get my kids and go without explaining anything to him. I know that will tear him apart though.
confused, cut your losses honey and get out and start a new life for you and the kids free of threats, insecurity, hurt and anger. it will be difficult, but it's doable. just do it!! now!!!
life
Physical abuse is the one thing that nobody, ever, has to tolerate or by involved in otherwise!
Think of your own safety. Go to a shelter, something!
GET OUT NOW!
If I was being abused, my decisions would be made - no question.
Did I say - GET OUT NOW!
Be safe, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Red
Please leave asap and seek counselling. And no matter how hard H begs, cries or whatever, you must leave, this type of behavior will not end unless you insist that HE also seek counselling for his problem. And tell him, THEN and ONLY THEN, will you even consider trying to salvage your R with him.
Good luck to you honey, and be safe!!
Dusty
My next step is just to leave with my kids. But I'm so miserably comfortable that it's hard to leave. I pray everyday to give me the strength and courage to leave because although I want to believe that he'll change, I know he won't. His dad is abusive and so he learned this behaviour through him and now I see that kind of behaviour in my son.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and thanks for being here. Your replies are wonderful!
be get the courage you need to leave and be safe. let us know what you decide and how you're doing.
life
Your kids should not see that, you should not have to deal with that. No man should ever hit a woman especially someone he cares about.
You really need to go. Please do it now before the beatings get worse. You never know just how far an abusive person can go.
PLEASE GO NOW, It's time. Mother does not know bst in this situation.
Please Go Now!!!!!!!
Go, and go as soon as possible. Base on what you've told us, you are absolutely right in this, and anyone who says different is either not your friend or afraid to examine their own choices. Either way, your safety and that of your children is number one.
I won't recommend playing hard ball with your H because I honestly think it creates still more problems and provokes the hornets' nest further. However, I think you should call a women's shelter TODAY and ask if they have a recommendation for or can assist with legal counsel. You have a tremendous number of legal rights as a battered spouse and protective parent, but you need to be careful and informed before you exercise them.
Good luck, and know that we're all praying for you and sending out warm energy in hopes that you'll find the strength to resolve your situation.
rain
Never.
Never.
Never.
That is the one thing that you need firm in your life. Once it happens, there's NO negotiation.
Find a shelter, find SUPPORTIVE friends...there are people out there to HELP you, honey.
Take care of yourself and your kids.
Pages