Did anyone end up with their MM?
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Did anyone end up with their MM?
| Mon, 11-10-2003 - 11:08am |
I met first my MM at a bar almost 2 years ago. We messed around that night, he got my number through a mutual friend, and contacted me within 2 days. We hung out here and there, and eventually fell for each other. He says his M was done before we even met, because had he been happy and committed, he wouldn't have been out that late and wouldn't have pursued me as he did.
Well, here it is almost 2 years later, and we are moving in together at the end of the month. His final divorce papers are in the mail as I type, and things couldn't be better (other than his constant child custody battles).
My question is, has anyone been in this type of situation where you "get" the MM in the end? Good outcomes? Bad? Please advise!

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Things seem to be working out with me and my MM. We were involved for less than 6 months when he separated and got his own place. Like your MM, his M was dead before I can along. A little while after him, I left my H and got my own place. The day I moved in, he came to visit and never left. So we are unofficially living together although for appearances sake he has to keep his own place. I have just signed the paperwork for divorce but a giant battle for me with my H (who opposed D) and between MM and his W lies ahead. It is stressful and there is a lot of anxiety...but we are together and if we can make it thru the next year I believe we can have a happy life together. You are lucky your MM is almost divorced. It is a long process. Good luck.
I don't know what I am asking for here - some magic, perhaps, that will make her want to be mine more than his. I'd do anything for it and I mean - anything.
I couldn't help but reply to you! My OM and I are now an exclusive couple. I was married, he was not. We also had been friends for a number of years. Throughout our affair, I maintained that I was not, I repeat, NOT going to leave my H. I had been with H for about 11 years, there was too much history between us. OM was VERY understanding of this. He NEVER tried to push me into anything. Even though I knew he ached for me to leave H and be only with him, he never pushed me. He never even hinted that I should do so. Speaking for myself, I really appreciated that. I didn't feel pressured at all. We were just having a good time for as long as we could, and when it was over, we'd just say it was fun while it lasted. I thought that was a good attitude to have about it all, since EMA's are so unpredictable anyway.
BUT....having said all that, after a few months of being with OM on the sly, and then going home to H, it all began to change. I started to imagine coming home to OM instead. I still couldn't fathom leaving H, or hurting him in that way. But, my heart was with OM more than it was with H. Then, my OM went away for 2-1/2 months. The only contact I had with him was a few letters. I missed him so bad, I couldn't see straight. I was literally sick about it. That's when the shift in my feelings happened.
I realized I wanted to be with OM more than I wanted to be with H. When I thought about hurting one of them, which I knew I would have to do eventually, OM won my heart. It made me physically sick to my stomach to think about living the rest of my life without him. I didn't feel that way toward H anymore.
So, what am I getting at here? I guess it's this: Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't push her, don't nag her. Just let her come to her own conclusions. Maybe a little time away from each other would help her realize what she has with you. I didn't think I'd ever be ready to leave H either, even after I had decided to do just that. Turns out, I didn't have to make that decision. A couple weeks before OM returned from his trip, my H found out about us. I admitted everything, and left the same day. It's been about 3 months now, and OM and I (guess I should call him BF now!) are doing great. My divorce will be final in another 3 months, and we can live happily ever after! I just wanted to let you know that, fairy tales CAN come true!
Hang in there!
Love,
Pheebs
It's not easy is it? But listen to your own instincts and the women's advice here and don't push. Enjoy her when you can have her, and be happy she is in your life again (I remember your other posts). Who knows, maybe someday...and if not, you at least have a part of her now (a part that I'm sure she cherishes just as much as you do).
Keep posting -- it's great to hear a man's perspective.
Charlotte
Edited 10/1/2004 6:47 pm ET ET by sally289
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