Did I do the right thing or mess up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Did I do the right thing or mess up?
3
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 8:56pm

Crap! Worried I just messed up!

Quick background: MM plans to tell W he is moving out in 3 weeks. Been waiting months to hit that date. So hard to be in limbo.

Tonight he tells me they're doing thing at her family's house. Mutual friend asks him - in front of me - if they're doing date night. He says no. When I ask him later he says no, doesn't know what friend is talking about, just family thing. I believe him. He says he'll call after - since they drove seperately - unless they're up too late.

Another mutual friend (of hers) tells me tonight that she told friend they have date tonight and she's excited. Urgh! So either she was surprising him or he was lying.

So... I just texted him (in code) saying that a event at work tonight was making me uneasy and that I'd "wait up" to hear about event... he should figure code but I'm worried he'll get mad that either a) she'll see my text and freak or b) that I don't trust him. But my stomach is in knots and if he's lying or backing out I want to know. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Did I do the right thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 9:27pm

He's having

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 9:35pm

I know...

The three weeks is a date we set a while back for him to make things as amicable as possible for the sake of custody, etc. moving forward.

As for tonight...what I don't know is whether he knew about it. I heard him on the phone with his MIL today - I was sitting next to him - talking about dinner at their house tonight, so it's possible she's surprising him... that's the part I'm unsure of and why I'm struggling.

Urgh... If he lied I'm done. But if she stuck him in that situation with everyone...I know he's stuck and he may feel like I'm the crazy stalker option if I'm (which I NEVER do) texting him when he's with her... you know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 10:03pm

In your "He's Getting Divorced" thread back in April (to which I replied as well),