Did men disappear from your radar screen
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Did men disappear from your radar screen
| Thu, 05-27-2004 - 9:53am |
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Here’s my question! Have you stopped noticing other men since you started with your OM/MM? I always thought that when you are with "the one" you wouldn't notice anybody else. That is not the case with me and that gives me doubt that even my current favorite (who is rapidly losing status) is "the one". I am still partial to early 40ish pepper-gray good looking intelligent types.
What is your experience?
Is there a man that exists in this universe that would make me put on the proverbial blinders to everybody else???
Maybe I am just too screwed up :)
PG
Guys on this board, please feel welcome to answer by replacing the “men” part with “women”.
Thanks.

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LOL
Don't get me wrong; I'm definitely not interested in pursuing anyone else (one husband and one MM are all I can handle, thankyouverymuch!), but it certainly doesn't stop me from flirting and looking! As a matter of fact, I find myself MORE open to conversations with men now that MM in on the scene. I get great confidence from our relationship, and it spills over into every aspect of my life.
KC
P.S. I don't believe in "the one."
I'm pretty content with things
:)
dd
Long answer: my first love at 16 did this. I would see girls at the mall or cruising or whatever and they'd say hi to me. I thought they were being nice. When I got crushed by my first love a year later, girls were still saying hi and finally a friend told me that was flirting. Duh. I just thought they were friendly and I had a friendly face.
When I first got married, I didn't think too much about other women. I was really, really devoted. The less happy I became, the more women I noticed.
Now I'm moving towards the OW, whom I find incredibly sexy and attractive. But to be honest, as our sex life starts to slack... I find other women more and more interesting to look at.
Is there a woman who would make me put on blinders? Yeah, I thought so. I thought OW was going to be it for checking out other women in any meaningful way (well, for the most part; she has a very open sensuality that leads to her making sexual comments about other women from time to time.) But now... who knows? Hopefully things will eventually settle back to where we thought they'd be.
rain
As for flirting and looking? I am a bit of a flirt. Love the attention and looks. It is just human instinct to want to be noticed by the opposite or same sex. Noone wants to feel "unattractive". Sexually my MM does it for me.
Since my MM is younger, I notice the younger men.
jen
These A's are funny, funny things!
First of all, we're only human. What's that line, I'm married, not buried?? Finding someone attractive has NOTHING to do with your contentment in your relationship. ACTING upon that attraction does, but recognizing it does not.
Secondly, I think it depends upon your own particular style. Some people are very visual. Others are auditory. Still others are tactile, you see where I'm going with this?? I am MUCH more likely to be 'attracted' to someone with a fabulous voice than if he's got six-pack abs. That was the case with my ex--I heard his voice before I ever saw him and fell in love with him right then and there. And even your visual awareness varies from person to person: When I'm watching SO go through his day, for instance, the things I notice are his arm muscles rippling as he's signing the timesheets, the way his dimples deepen if he really finds something I say to be funny as opposed to the polite laughter he uses if he doesn't. A coworker of ours who doesn't know about us can only talk about his a$$. I don't notice his butt near as much as those other things (don't get me wrong, it *is* a great butt!). I think if you're a visual person, you are bound to notice attractive people regardless of the status of your relationship.
And finally, no...I no longer believe that there is only one 'right' person for everyone and somehow, kismet, fate, the gods, whoever, will bring you together. I think there are many right people in your life. For sanity sake, it's probably better if those of us on this board found those right people at separate times, lol, but finding them at the same time doesn't make either of them any less 'right' for you.
Lucky
Did men dissappear?? Sure they did. Honey, I can't handle more than two men at a time. No harm in looking though, if the looks are harmless. Just bcoz you are married doesn't mean you can't look. Just don't act on it would be my advice. Anyway, I am hardly the person who picks a man because he appeared on my screen. He has to do lot more than that for me. ;)
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