did u meet your AP online?
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did u meet your AP online?
| Tue, 02-09-2010 - 1:01pm |
i'm interested in learning how some of you met your AP. was is an online site? co-worker? high school best friend? ....just wondering, and so curious!
i met mine online (not proud...) but he was someone i knew 15 years ago briefly. i wish i had a script for how stuff is supposed to play out between us, but i don't.
i am wondering if A's started online have any sort of chance of longevity vs. A's started in real-life settings. what do you think?
thanks for your input!

Yes, I meant mine online. Sounds so typical but I posted on a board LOOKING for an affair assuming I'd meet a bunch of weirdos and get freaked out and realize I had it good at home and to quit looking for that romantic love feeling that has been missing for the last 9 years. Ironically enough, he lives very close by and I feel like I've met a mirror image of myself personality wise. I am completely useless to my husband now because emotionally I have checked out of the marriage and he has absolutely NO idea what is going on. We've been married almost 20 years and I love my spouse but the in love part has been gone for years.
Although this new love brings me happiness and fulfills me in ways I never thought possible, in some ways, wish I would have never put myself out there. It would have just been easier to stay in my almost sexless marriage and not hurt anyone, most of all myself.
thank you for
Let's see.....we just starting writing each other in early Dec, finally met on the 23rd and have been seeing each other since Dec 26th - damn near every day although weekends are hard. The odd thing is our spouses encourage us to go work out at night and do we ever! In fact, just saw him 30 minutes ago. I'm lucky in that my AP has a job that keeps him out of the office a lot so some days he drives the 40 minutes over to my work to meet me for lunch or he will show up and just watch me if I'm having lunch with someone else. It's kind of exhilarating....we try and "show up" at the same restaurant and watch each other from across the room on the weekends when we can't get away to be with each other. I highly recommend it for a huge spark if you and your AP have no common friends.
He emailed me and was not really interested in sex (he does get that at home) but just someone to be friends and discuss our problems to each other. I decided to try Ashley Madison, why - I have no idea - like I said, wanted to see if I was still desirable and received over 100 responses (posting a picture will do it!) and deleted almost all of them - some of them were BIZARRE but his was unique in that he wasn't looking for a sexual relationship but more of a friendship. The sparks were INSANE. I tell myself that it's the "forbidden" part of it that makes it so intense but he is truly the most intense person I've ever met. You would think he's got the perfect marriage from the outside but like all of us, his marriage is riddled with many problems as well - they just tend to put them aside and still have a sexual relationship.
The thing that I find scary now is that he is planning a future for us. Has a grand plan of us being together forever and although I would love nothing more, when I come home at night and look at my kid, I don't know that I can go through with it. Luckily we both agreed that IF we ever did this, it would be a long, drawn out, slow process and we would NOT tell our spouses there was another person involved. In my case, my H is just not really interested in sex much. I'm lucky to have it 3 times a month. In his case, he feels that he's just a bank machine and ever since the kids, emotionally his wife isn't interested in him anymore, but the lifestyle he provides her.
Am I kidding myself? Probably. Right now I'm going at this full throttle. There is a very good chance he's being transferred to another division in the next 4 months and will be moving out of state. In some ways, I hope it happens - it would be a natural end and we would remain friends although he swears all it will do is help him to end the marriage since he wouldn't move his wife and kids right away with the housing market. Who knows.
Feel free to email me if you have other questions.