Did you actively choose your A?
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| Thu, 08-19-2010 - 5:01pm |
I am just curious as to how many of us here are in an A by actively seeking it out. I know that I am probably in the minority, but there has got to more than me...I hope:-)
So...my first A...10 months now...I consider it an EA now because we haven't seen each other since January and that was the only time since we met...was a complete accident. Well...not an accident, LOL, of course I made the decision to pursue things...but it was something that I was not out looking for. It happened on a business trip and one thing led to another.
Following that I realized that my M was lacking something...still figuring out what...and I realized that I liked the feelings that having someone new in my life brought out in me. So..I actively sought out the next A. I joined AM...and jumped right in to affairland with my eyes wide open!
So...anyone else?

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I actively sought out my first A.
Yes and No.
Since I actually
AM is how I began my affair as well.
I can relate to your post!!!
I didn't go looking in the sense that I answered personal ads or looked through any. But I was open to it. I knew I was open to it. I may have been sort of "looking" at the possible choices.
My first A, sort of just happened (but not really, I don't like "just happened".) I wasn't looking. But I had to take the steps necessary to get to an A. There are SO many, when you think about it. You don't go from friend or co-worker to having sex without all those steps - each one a conscious choice along the way.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I think I did seek out 'something' from another man.
Goodness, Bird...you and I are SO much alike!!! Ok...I was sort of the same...thinking I might like something from another man, and ours also started w/ e-mail being used like IM. The beginning of our A's are SO similar.
I guess I fall somewhere in the middle...in the beginning, I didn't activley pursue it, but once we started e-mailing back/forth there was no denying where it was headed and I was HOOKED :) We also got lost in conversations **about everything and nothing** for hours. The verbal sparring is intoxicating and we have such a good time. I also made some very conscious decisions along the way and like Bird said about H being comfortable w/ her being a little girl...SAME thing for me...AP brings out so much in me that has been waiting to come out. H is just not real receptive to "her" LOL!! And I can't for the life of me figure out why, but it has made me feel a little rejected by him. **SIGH** married young and H did get a little girl...ok, not really, but I was young and inexperienced.
LOL Kimber ...yep I certainly relate to you very much and it's actually uncanny how similar some of the stuff is with you and I.
I didn't seek it out as in I'm going to find someone to have an affair with. AP and I worked together on a project and needed to be in contact. He needed something for the project that he couldn't get a hold of. I had the "hook up" to get it, got it and told him he owed me. He sent me a text back that said "What do I owe you ;)" And that's how it started. It's been full of highs and lows.
I left out of state for a huge work project for 6/7 weeks and it really died down then, I posted I was pretty sure I was over it. I've been home for about 3 weeks now and it has certainly picked up. By him. I pulled away, letting it dwindle, because I was really done. In the past week I've seen him 5 times. He's putting much more effort into seeing me and while things aren't very far physically it is being discussed very frequently - logistics, consequences, protection, things like that.
I'm not sure where its going. We start another project together in about 5 weeks so we will see what happens then.
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