Did you actively choose your A?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Did you actively choose your A?
23
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 5:01pm

I am just curious as to how many of us here are in an A by actively seeking it out. I know that I am probably in the minority, but there has got to more than me...I hope:-)


So...my first A...10 months now...I consider it an EA now because we haven't seen each other since January and that was the only time since we met...was a complete accident. Well...not an accident, LOL, of course I made the decision to pursue things...but it was something that I was not out looking for. It happened on a business trip and one thing led to another.

Following that I realized that my M was lacking something...still figuring out what...and I realized that I liked the feelings that having someone new in my life brought out in me. So..I actively sought out the next A. I joined AM...and jumped right in to affairland with my eyes wide open!


So...anyone else?

LouLou

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 12:04pm

Hi Lou,


Wow.. lots of interesting stories. I almost feel better about my situation :-)


Both AP and I decided to seek an A, and found each other through AM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 12:15pm

well her question was " did you actively choose your A ?" So weather it is your first time or nth time , you have to actively make a choice to pursue your A .
best of luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:26pm
Thanks Bird for that clarity! You put things into perspective for me. Label or not we are in an EA. Sometimes I question if I am imaging things between us and at one point I asked him if I was just misinterpreting his friendliness because there was a fine line. He answered that he enjoyed spending time with me and had thought a lot about an A with me. In thinking about an A, I believe he was speaking about a PA, not recognizing that we are already in an EA. I am okay with that. It has become very obvious that all of his efforts and contact with me are more than just friendship-I don't have anyone that I make such effort with on a daily basis and I doubt he does either. He wants to please me and see me and talk to me and even though some days we don't connect there is that attachment there and we both know it. I will learn from your experience and not worry about labeling it. Whatever it is we enjoy each other's company and it is fulfilling a need in both of us on an emotional level at this point in time.

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