Difficult Day - Memories
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Difficult Day - Memories
| Tue, 03-30-2004 - 7:41am |
Despite everything I'm going through right now, breakup of A, plus unsettled homelife due to H knowing everything, I can't seem to help missing MM. I have this dull ache that just won't go away. I am posting here right now, in order to keep myself from emailing him. I should probably be on the Ending Affair Support, but you guys are more familiar to me, and I like it here.
Anyway, I've been awake since 3am, can't sleep, and all the memories of my times with MM, things said, keep running through my head. It's not as though my A ended on bad terms - maybe if it had, this would be easier.
Memories are nice, just wish they weren't so painful right now! Thanks for listening.
Red
Edited 4/22/2004 9:00 am ET ET by red_bella

((((HUGS))))
Hang in there!!!
GB2
But it doesn't change the fact that he is M, so are you. I think its really unfair for them to say these things to you, and get your hope up and make you want/love them even more, when there's no way you can really have them!!
My MM doesn't say things like that to me, and in a way I am glad. I get too attached too easily, and I know I would be DYING if we had to break up and he had said those things to me.
The things your MM said to you were very sweet and I'm sure the thoughts of them will make you sad now, but hopefully someday they will give you a little comfort, that once upon a time, you had a special love, and it was really great.
Dusty
Red I know you must be going through hell right now with all the memories because I am currently in NC and she is all I think about. You never know one day your paths may cross again together but be happy that you shared a wonderful love with a wonderful man who made you come alive (I know that is harder said then done).
My prayers and thoughts are with you because my heart sure knows the suffering.
Hugs and Kisses
Everyday brings along new feelings and emotions. I guess I can look forward to good days and bad days for a while.
On a positive note, my H and I are communicating very well. He really is being amazing and I'm not sure if I could be so understanding if the shoe was on the other foot.
He did make me cry a bit this morning, when he wrote to me:
"I do know you love me.
You also still love XXXX and according to what you have written (now don't get me wrong) because this is what makes me the saddest, he's your true soul mate and I'm your husband. Remember I know that you do truly love me just not the same way.I've always thought of you as my best friend ,lover ,&soul mate . And you can only ever have one soul mate,.
I to want to move forward with our relationship . It just seems to me that
with this realization there will always be a part of you I can never have."
I really should count myself lucky to have both of these wonderful men in my life - and believe me, I do!
Thanks for the support. As always, I'm thinking of you all.
Red
You're right. Memories are nice and painful.
I posted yesterday about how hard this is (the A). I'm trying a NC mode with him (5 days today if I don't fall)because I'm tired of His NC modes. Yeah, it's "OK" when he does it, but I'm not supposed to do it. I'm supposed to answer