disapointments?
Find a Conversation
disapointments?
| Fri, 12-19-2003 - 6:48am |
I was supposed to me MM for lunch yesterday,but he cancled.. Work.. This A just started and Im still getting a feel for him... He seemed genuinly upset he had to cancel..My question is this..How do you handle the disapointments?!?!.. Im sure there will be more to come.. I know there are somethings that are just unavoidable.. but how do you deal ?!?... Do u just accept and move on?.. is this all part of it?....Is this something I should get used to now, before i get in deeper?.. thanks a bunch :)..vix

Pages
There are so many disappointments in an *A*. I know how terrible it feels when you get yourself psyched up to see your *MM* or *OM*, and then it ends up falling through. The only thing you can do, is just think about the next time you will be able to see him and that will make you feel better. You just have to ask yourself if the happiness that you feel when you do see him outweighs the disappointments . For me, the disappointments are just part of having an *A*. Good luck to you. Keep smiling! :)
gurl
Edited 2/18/2004 10:31:35 AM ET by gurlfriend50
you have a wonderful christmas dusty!
gurl
Edited 2/18/2004 10:31:01 AM ET by gurlfriend50
Easiest way that I found to deal with the disappointments is to find something to do when that happens, go shopping, out with family or friends etc. Changes in plans are bound to happen more than we want them to. Our MM/OM have other responsibilities and for that matter so do we.
We have had to adjust scheduled meetings due to sick kids, no school that day etc.
I think it will always be a part of an EMA, so my advice would be to accept it and try not to overthink it. If it gets more than you can deal with then its time to rethink your A.
BUT THATS JUST MY OPINION..
Hope that helps
SB
Seeburg
Most of us just buck up and carry on. Cancelled dates is part of it, because by the very nature of affairs, we can't tell our spouse or boss that, gee, hey, no can do. Can't make it to the whatever, gotta meet my boy/girlfriend. There are obligations in our 'other life' that must be met or else we'd open ourselves up to suspicion. I don't expect that any of us like it, but we've realized that the good outweighs the bad and the things one takes note of in a 'normal' relationship to judge if it's going well can't possibly be the same things we judge in an affair. There are basics to both, of course, respect, friendship, etc. But if the good does not outweigh the bad or there's no respect, then it's time to move on. And like so many other difficult issues in our lives, only you know the real story.
I'd give him time. That's one thing I'm learning...patience. Again, the pace is different in an affair, so some things you will learn about each other very early on, simply because there's precious little time together so you try to make the most of it. Other things you may not pick up on as quickly, because there's precious little time together so you don't generally get to see his reactions to the same expanse of situations that you would in a 'normal' relationship.
Good luck, hope you learn to hang with it. HTH
Lucky
Pages