divorce, AP, what do you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
divorce, AP, what do you do.
42
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:20pm
i guess the word came up again for my AP. he was talking to me over the weekend about it, then mentioned it again today. it's not him, but his spouse. i guess she's trying to push it. i just listen, but asked for the reasons today. when he told me, i kind of started yelling into the phone. the reasons are ridiculous. i want to help him some how. i'm not sure what i can do for him. his concern is for his kids and what this would do to them. i try to say to him things to try to make his marriage work. i told him how sad it is if his marriage falls apart. it's so sad if this where to come to be. i asked him if he was still going to marriage counseling. he told me he is going to try to go back. i want to see him save his marriage for those kids.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:25pm

Staying in a bad marriage is not necessarily the best thing for children.

JMO.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:37pm

If you want to help him save his marriage, then stop being his AP.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:57pm

Spot on - having an AP in the picture is distracting him from giving 100% to his marriage.

trixie xo

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 5:26pm

Totally agree with Shadowz here - if the marriage is bad - it is NOT best for the children to stay in it.

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 5:30pm

Hi Tgr!

Tori, I agree with the other posters as well. If you really wanted to save his marriage you would let him alone to do it. That said, if he really wanted to leave he would. Men divorce all the time. He isn't incapacitated. It isn't a can't it is a won't.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 6:38pm
he doesn't want to divorce, he wants to save his marriage, he really does. again it's not him, but his spouse. she will do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 6:41pm
tgr honestly i'm not interfering with his marriage. we talk or email a couple of times a week, and see each other once every 2 to 3 weeks. when we don't talk i'm not even on his mind. he seperates the relationships. there is no harm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 6:42pm

Autumn... I think you can only do so much when it

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 6:50pm
saying the reasons gives tmi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 7:10pm

Well, regardless of the reasons, if the W doesn't want to stay married then it is going to be quite tough for them to stay married.

maystone

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