divorce, AP, what do you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
divorce, AP, what do you do.
42
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:20pm
i guess the word came up again for my AP. he was talking to me over the weekend about it, then mentioned it again today. it's not him, but his spouse. i guess she's trying to push it. i just listen, but asked for the reasons today. when he told me, i kind of started yelling into the phone. the reasons are ridiculous. i want to help him some how. i'm not sure what i can do for him. his concern is for his kids and what this would do to them. i try to say to him things to try to make his marriage work. i told him how sad it is if his marriage falls apart. it's so sad if this where to come to be. i asked him if he was still going to marriage counseling. he told me he is going to try to go back. i want to see him save his marriage for those kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 12:00pm
we have different experiences on the same issue. that's why this board is good therapy in a way, it allows people to discuss issues without being judged. thank you for your honesty and input. it's very valuable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 12:36pm

Yeah... and, you can grown up in

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 6:31pm

EXACTLY (your ETA)!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 7:42pm
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Is the sound of what happens when we try to knock some good common sense into someone who's got none. They never get it..... Just SPLAT!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 7:48pm
how is what i believe in and have seen myself contradictions. i think to break up a home is harmful to the kids. explain yourself if you may. or do you have nothing to back up your statement. by the way all you have is the self righteous attitude.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 7:50pm
oh splat to you. another self righteous attitude. please spew on another thread where you are invited, but not here. i'm sick of your sarcasm.


Edited 4/23/2009 7:51 pm ET by goddessautumn
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 8:33pm

Oh Tori, I really don't feel right arguing with you, this playing field is not level at all, but if you insist:


"broken homes are horribe. no matter what any one says,children don't really recover like people say, they do act out"


"i'm better off for it because i didn't come from a broken home."


"the way i am personally has nothing to do with what my parents did or didn't do in their marriage"


If you don't see the contradictions in that (like everyone else reading this does), then, well, I don't even know what to say Tori.....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 8:54pm

i'll play along. let me just say you know of my experiences.

"broken homes are horribe. no matter what any one says,children don't really recover like people say, they do act out"------ as i have already said, but i'll repeat it i have seen first hand. both my newphews, adult men who are products of divorce, my son as a child was a product of a seperation. thank he was saved from a broken home, my husbands friend. know he's losing his kids to another state. uless you know of my experiences, who i know, and have lived my life, you really have no leg to stand on, now do you.

next--"i'm better off for it because i didn't come from a broken home."---that's right. i stayed in my marriage for my son to grow up with an intact family. it made me a better person with family values and didn't give up on my home and family just because there was no love. i had my child to show proper family values to. he's a better person for it because him now as an adult knows what true family values are. now that my son is an adult, eventually i would like to move on my own. him as a child, no way, i would have never done to him. he can proudly say he has an intact family, not a broken home. it's way too easy for people to get divorced. most people divorce without even trying.

and next---"the way i am personally has nothing to do with what my parents did or didn't do in their marriage"---i learned how not to give up on the family unit and walk away like i see most people do. that has nothing to do with what my parents did or didn't do. that comes from within myself and my values.

there's no contradictions in any of it. i didn't come from a broken home, my parents stayed married for us kids, like i have done for my son. because of this we are better people. it shows family values, pure and simple.

divorce hurts children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 9:02pm

Like I said before Tori, you make no sense.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 12:50am

So the lesson learned