divorce, AP, what do you do.
Find a Conversation
divorce, AP, what do you do.
| Tue, 04-21-2009 - 4:20pm |
i guess the word came up again for my AP. he was talking to me over the weekend about it, then mentioned it again today. it's not him, but his spouse. i guess she's trying to push it. i just listen, but asked for the reasons today. when he told me, i kind of started yelling into the phone. the reasons are ridiculous. i want to help him some how. i'm not sure what i can do for him. his concern is for his kids and what this would do to them. i try to say to him things to try to make his marriage work. i told him how sad it is if his marriage falls apart. it's so sad if this where to come to be. i asked him if he was still going to marriage counseling. he told me he is going to try to go back. i want to see him save his marriage for those kids.

Pages
<<>>
Sigh, Tori. It is one giant contradiction. I am just saying that because you tell us in one breath how your staying together effects your children. Makes them into better people. Then when you talk about yourself and basically tell us that anything negative in your personality (the fact that you are weak, let's say) is not a result of your own parents staying married "for the kids". But honey, I think it might be. Which is what I meant earlier when I said you couldn't have it both ways, because you can't. Parenting is separate from marriage. There are just as many bad parents that stay married as there are good ones who divorce.
<<< i didn't come from a broken home, my parents stayed married for us kids, like i have done for my son. because of this we are better people. it shows family values, pure and simple.>>>
Oh. Okay, having affairs but staying married, does that show family values? Just checking.
<<>>
Divorce hurts. Period. Children and other family members, spouses, everyone. It hurts. But sometimes, Tori, it is much better than the alternative. Yes, I screwed up in my marriage. So did my xH. But you know? Staying in that environment and letting my children witness the tension and live it everyday? It was much worse than the alternative. MUCH worse. Yes, Tori, of course not every case is like mine. I am sure there are cases in which Divorce was a mistake for the children involved. Which is why I said statements like "Divorce causes children to act out" were generalizations. Because, frankly? Sometimes children act out who are not from broken homes too. And sometimes the valedictorian, most likely to succeed is a product of divorce.
I guess my point is, you really can't generalize anything.
Pages