Do all MM lie to the OW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Do all MM lie to the OW?
15
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 2:15pm

My best friend who is single

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 4:10pm

You're kidding, right? Of course he's going to stay with the wife and family and happily enjoy your friend as long as she lets him have both. That's the way some men are wired. I know, I've lived through many years with one. He always comes home. I hate it, but keep putting

Lily1436

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 4:27pm

Refer your friend to this board. Here she will read stories of women who have been waiting YEARS for their AP to leave their W and marry them. I can't count the number of women I have seen post something like this over the years. The thing is? I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually seen this come to fruition AND turn into a happy union.

Similarly, over the years I have read countless from women hurting because their H's have cheated on them. Many of them are utterly shocked that they had a miserable sexless marriage. Because the reality was that their marriage was neither miserable nor sexless.

It is really easy to SAY you are miserable and tell tales about how awful the wife is. It would be a gross generalization to say that *all* MM do this. But many do. I would also say that there are a fair share of MW that tell similar lies to their APs. Because somehow it makes it less deplorable if you are UNHAPPY and cheating. Or something.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 4:44pm

I guess I'm naive to this kind of stuff, but I'm kinda shocked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 7:08pm

100% of MM lie to the OW, and 100% of MM also lie to their W. They have to in order to keep the A going!

hugs,

trixie

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 8:31pm
you are generalizing every single MM and every affair they are in. you can't do that. you can't speak for all MM and their affairs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 8:35pm

I agree with Trixie.


My MM lies 110% of the time... I know for a fact.


See, your friend doesn't want to read this board because then she wont' be so "naive" to the truth.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 8:52pm

Obviously we can't speak to your friends situation specifically and whether or not the MM she is being with is being dishonest.

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 10:50pm

I know it sounds very cut and dried, but when you think about it - it's true! MM lie to their W's about their whereabouts so they can fit their OW's into their schedules. Please - have you ever known an MM to say to his wife: 'Sorry honey I won't be around tonight, I'm off to cheat on you and have sex with my AP'... lolol

MMs lie to their OW's too - I don't believe for one minute that their M is as bad as they say it is, if it really was they'd be high-tailing it out of there, stat. They stay because they are getting a payoff for some reason or another - stability for the kids, lifestyle advantages, their image, etc etc. They also lie about what's really going on at home, mostly to protect the OW's feelings so that she is willing to continue the A. It's not always 100% bad at home... I could go on but I think you get the point.

trixie :-)

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 11:17pm

I agree about the lying, I do also think that anyone is capable of lying whether you are in an affair or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 11:50pm

You know Tori, I agree with Trixie on this one. Any married person in an A is teaching their AP about the most negative side of themselves. The ability to lie to and cheat on a loved one.

So MM's (and MW's too) are lying. And if a married person can lie to their spouse, what makes you think they are above lying to their AP? I think it would just be naive to believe that MM's do not lie to the OW.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz

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