Do any of you go through this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Do any of you go through this??
6
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 10:38am
For those of you who's SO's don't know about your A's, do you sometimes find it "necessary" to talk about your OM/OW in front of your SO? NOt in so much as you tell them things about your OM/OW, but more say "hey, I heard this thing from someone today and blah, blah, blah". I don't know why I do it but sometimes I can't help myself. Since I'm new to all this (actually the A part hasn't really started) is this something that I should try very hard to get myself out of the habit of???

"Blue"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 10:51am
i do that often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 11:32am
That's a tough question. MM was just in here talking w/me about a subject I brought up. Then he said he wanted his W take on it but he didn't know how to bring it up to her w/o arousing her suspicions. I feel the same way he does. Some things just stay between us and I NEVER share them w/DH.

Laugh Smiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 12:18pm
i tread very carefully on this subject because MM and his W are our friends and my SO is a bit jealous and uncomfortable around MM. my BF thinks, or did think earlier this year, that i "felt" something for MM. apparently BF was watching us together in social situations and MM and i were not being discreet enough. after the big blowup about the situation, i backed off socially from MM and his W and BF and i went from seeing them every weekend to about once every 4-5 weeks.

BF and i were supposed to meet up with MM and W this past weekend, but BF decided at the last minute he didn't want to meet them so i had to make an excuse to the W and i ended up not seeing MM.

but sometimes i can't help myself either and mention something that his W said to me or that she and i had lunch, whatever. i'm not supposed to have direct contact with MM so i can't bring him into any conversation unless W "tells" something. doesn't happen often, but i do toss tidbits out there every once in awhile.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:29pm
MM and I work together and H knows we're friends, so I do end up talking about him a lot. It's gotten to the point where H asks what happened with MM at work every day. H thinks I think MM is a jerk, though, and so I feed off of that. I think when you're in love or infatuated or whatever your situation is, you WANT to talk about him as much as possible and that just manifests itself in your conversations with H. For me, a certain percentage of my conversations every day are with MM so unless one of us is out of the office or it's the weekend, of course his name will come up, even with my best friend, who knew at one time that we were having feelings for each other. (I ended up lying and telling her it was over after advice I read on here, actually!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:24pm
If you're like me H and OM are friends. I let H bring his name up then I may or may not comment on what he says depending on the conversation. You have to be very careful when talking about the OM. The saying "where there's smoke, there's fire" hits home on this topic. Just be careful and don't be too anxious to talk about your OM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 7:34pm

Hi blue,


I do this all the time... but I do have to be careful in what it is regards to.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My