Do I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Do I go?
15
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 3:39pm

Don't know if any of you remember me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 3:52pm
I think you are fooling yourself if think it won't take you back. If you are in love and happy with someone else then you owe it that relationship to cut ties with your AP. You may not be aware of it consciously, but seeing him will impact your current relationhip. And eventually it will become toxic. Repressed feelings end up coming out "sideways" and will probably hurt the person you are with now. Is that what you want to do? Think about the consequences first before you act. It's a good thing you posted here first before taking action.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
In reply to: cplove2007
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 4:13pm

oh cpie,


As long as you continue to romanticize this elusive man you will never free yourself to love another the way they should be loved.


He is a human being. I dont believe in 'soul mates". I've had incredible relationships with people. But I learned if i continue to put them up on a superhuman pedestal, I will never feel satisfied with another (and give them a chance to be in love with as well) or be 'finished' with the one I project soo much onto.


This is a choice you have of keeping him in that special place. The other solution would be to have K with you when you meet and not meet this other alone. Give him the sympathy you are dying to give him that somehow aches in you to give him (even though I am sure the words have been said more than once since October).


If you really love your new man...think about this...love is a verb...and going and meeting this guy on the sly without K's knowledge to express your love to Xap...is that loving K? Do you want an authentic life and love relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
In reply to: cplove2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:12pm

Hi CP -


I've missed you!!

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
In reply to: cplove2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:19pm
No please don't go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:39pm

CP -


First of all, I do remember you from way back and your story and so glad to see now that you and K are doing so well!! CONGRATS!! Secondly, I agree w/all of these women....yes, XAP is someone very special you hold very dear in part of your heart and that he where he needs to stay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 2:44pm

Have any of you been the single one in the A and started dating, and even fell in love, but continued communication or even seeing AP or did you cut it off?

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Mon, 03-02-2009 - 3:05pm
i do however agree that you should keep physical distance between the two of you..well because you now have a sexy, lovely new beau and well it just sounds like it's worth working on...i think xap might get in the way of that because of the feelings (the ones that never go away) that you have for him.......

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:56am

Thanks to all who responded and you, in particular maybabee8, having given me something to think about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 11:58am

Tgrbabe:


I emailed you privately as well, with more details...and I do sincerely respect your advice, but I'm sure you see what I've replied, that I do plan to go, at least for Friday night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
In reply to: cplove2007
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 12:02pm

Tygerzize:


Thanks for your response.

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